Ok I’m going to have to inflict on you a transcript of that slice of Princess Daughter’s pretend commencement speech she bestowed on us this morning. If you can’t bear to listen to her yourself for even a second, you should bear in mind that she deploys a weird zombie-like whispery voice and that she accompanies it with much head and face and mouth work.
I am confident [flashing of shiny white teeth] that even if your path is different from the one you imagined, ultimately [seductive turn of the head], it can be better than we [sic] could ever have planned. In my own life I’ve found that my greatest personal growth has arisen from times of discomfort and uncernty [sic] that [head toss] one can only really appreciate in hindsight. [slight pause; new thought] Joseph Campbell, a philosopher, who [twinkly smile] also helped inspire the creation of Star Wars [big flash of shiny white teeth to underline how hip she is] once said that [very serious look] the achievement of the hero is one that he is ready for. [pause, new toss of the head] It’s really a manifestation of his character. The landscape and conditions of the environment match the readiness [tiny shake of the head] of the hero. The adventure that he’s ready for is the one that he gets.
[pause long enough to suggest new paragraph] Throughout our history brave men and women have faced daunting challenges, and they have embraced the adventure. America’s fate is never dictated by fear. Our future is ridden [sic] by the love and the courage of our citizens. [very serious look] No person will be unchanged from [sic] living through this present hardship, but I’m confident that the bonds between us will be stronger; our admiration for each other will be deeper; our gratitude for the gift of life will be ever new; and our resolve to build an even greater future, will be greater than ever before.
Ok so…have you ever read anything more vacuous? It’s got that “Oh I haven’t done my homework I haven’t done the reading I’m supposed to do a composition about the reading oh dear I’ll just say a lot of generalities and hope that will get me a C” vibe. She has nothing to say and no brain to think of something with so she just talks meaningless flannel.
Remember when this happened?
And this?
CRINGE