They decided this class was their space
Sarah Ditum wrote about gender and her daughter last January.
Not all the encouragement you received has been positive. You did a term of judo, then you stopped because some boys in the class began shoving the few girls who attended. They didn’t tell you this was because you were a girl, but it was because you were a girl: they decided this class was their space, so they pushed you around till they pushed you out. “Push them back, and harder,” I wanted to say – you are going to grow up tall and powerful, and right now most boys your age are smaller than you – but fighting is only going to get you in trouble, and anyway, in a few years their violence will exceed anything you can offer.
And when all of you are grown up they will find non-violent ways of pushing you out, but push you out they will.
The YouTubers your brother watches use “pussy” as an insult. I talk to him about this, but that doesn’t stop his friends from watching, can’t excise this disgust from your social world.
Also “cunt,” “twat,” “bitch,” “ho,” etc.
It would be nice to live in a world where people just didn’t want to talk to each other that way.
Their violence doesn’t have to exceed anything you can offer.
Why did no adults stop the boys in the class?
You know, Samantha, that’s a really good question. Why can’t the adults in our school stop the men in the class (this is college; they’re supposed to be adults) from harassing the women? Why does our auto body teacher tell women who take his classes that they need to “man up” (though hopefully not in those words) and understand that they will be harassed? This is seen as okay. Don’t talk to the males, and tell them, suck it up guys, you’re living in a world with women, and they have as many rights as you, so don’t act like jerks. No, tell the women, in the hopes that you can scare them out of the class and not have to deal with the entitled jerks driving off people who have the same dreams they do.
Exactly. When does it change? Martial arts classes are supposed to teach self-discipline to children– “My strength is not for hurting”, only for defense. Instead, we’ve got an instructor who is apparently turning a blind eye to bullying in his classroom.
I can’t help but think my parents wouldn’t have *let* me be bullied out of martial arts by boys. If I felt unwanted in one class,t hey’d find a studio where the instructors took discipline seriously and didn’t allow sexist behavior.
Places can be sued for turning a blind eye to harassment. I imagine a college would not be invulnerable to such lawsuits. They certainly should be preparing the students for a real world experience that includes “You can lose your job in the real world for that behavior.” Instead, the school is condoning it and warning women off. That is sexist and going to lead to trouble. Yet in the meantime, it keeps setting women back.