Down, peasant
Have you seen the Texas prayer day’s site? It explains about itself.
On August 6, the nation will come together at Reliant Stadium in Houston, Texas for a solemn gathering of prayer and fasting for our country.
We believe that America is in a state of crisis. Not just politically, financially or morally, but because we are a nation that has not honored God in our successes or humbly called on Him in our struggles.
Why do they believe that? They don’t say. It’s a very stupid thing to believe. It takes a huge, complicated, arbitrary claim – America is in a state of crisis – and without even saying what is meant by it or listing the ingredients of it, it assigns a cause which is just gibberish.
Some bad things are happening in America. This is because “we are a nation that” hasn’t done a couple of things to or for or about an imaginary character. What do they mean “we are a nation that”? Plenty of people in the nation have indeed “honored God” for things they like and begged him for more things they like, so what do they mean about the nation? That the gummint hasn’t joined the people in honoring and begging? But parts of the gummint do that too. Maybe they mean it’s not unanimous, and that’s what itches them on the bum. But that’s very bossy of them. The whole idea is stupid, so they should be satisfied with the numbers they have and not go seeking after more.
Rick Perry, the governor of the deranged state of Texas, explains some more.
I sincerely hope you’ll join me in Houston on August 6th and take your place in Reliant Stadium with praying people asking God’s forgiveness, wisdom and provision for our state and nation. There is hope for America. It lies in heaven, and we will find it on our knees.
How does he know that? I don’t think he does…and I think telling people to get on their knees is disgusting.
Not coincidentally, the people who say we’re in a crisis that only “God” can solve-
-are the same people who claim that government can’t solve problems
-are the same people who are desperate to take as many government positions as possible
-are the same people who support policies that have created the very problems they say are impossible to solve without “God”
Here’s a crazy idea: let’s boot these jackholes from power, since they propose magical solution to problems they create with magical thinking.
What a stupid business. What mindless arguments. What a lot of hot gas. Hope for America in heaven? I thought the deal is you have to die to get to heaven. Is that what Perry wants?
Honestly. This is mortifying. On a par with artichoke drops to detoxify stinky feet.
Amusing how he manages to refer to ‘historical precedence’ for a national prayer day rather than ‘precedents’. I know it’s mean to be a spelling and grammar nazi… but the fact that the previous instances of the same thing were arranged at the behest of presidents and Congress suggests he’s got tickets on himself.
Ugh! That sparkly text is ugly.
And calling an event The Response? That’s really going to get people excited.
Hold on a minute, Improbable Joe, Claire Ramsey and all ye of little faith. This could well be the start of the Rapture and the Second Coming.
Ian,
It could be the start of the Hindu Revival Movement, but until you can prove it I’ve got a couple of ribeye steaks that have a date with hot iron in less than 24 hours. If it is a Jesus-type revival I’ve got a few weeks of bottled water and I’m armed to the teeth in case there’s an emptying of graves in my general vicinity. For everything else, I have a katana that is too big for normal person to swing under normal circumstances, but in abnormal circumstances is a nice extension of my reach and can cut through 2″ tree branches like a knife through butter.
Saint Peter better learn to effing duck…
Well. I know the True Day of the Rapture down to the Minute of Rapture by time zone. But I’m not authorized to tell when it is. But it’s not on Gas Bag Prayer Day.
Claire @#7
Is it 2112? Are you a huge Rush fan? I see the signs!!!
Does this mean that Perry is about to announce that he is running for president?
Hahaha The day I become a Rush fan is the day the WORLD ENDS!!!!
Joe:
Wouldn’t make no differnce if he couldn’t duck.
You’d just have 2 halves of him in 2 places at the same time.
But I reckon he already knows how to do that trick.
Ian:
It would be an easy trick if he’s split at the waist, and I only swung once. Not as long as I still have any “Joe” left in me.
If he’s got one ear, most of one and a half eyes and half a tongue in one place, the other ear and half a tongue in another, and his torso laying over in the corner, he can twitch for a bit before I separate the other bits. Let’s see how well he dances then.
If you’ve got a Bible character with a physical body who is threatening me with eternal pain, I’m kicking him in a half-dozen sensitive spots on principal. In that theology I’m damned anyway, might as well make them earn it.
August 6? Really? If I thought these people were actually competent to make historical allusions, I would be offended.
As a Texan I promise that when the state is finally amputated and set adrift in the Gulf, I will stay on board to make sure it sinks.
Oh, Christ on a pony, Moewicus, I only just noticed that. I hope that date was selected in ignorance. The alternative really doesn’t bear thinking about.
skepticlawyer, it’s particularly creepy when you read chapter 3 of Joel, the book which “The Response” site thinks gives instructions for this kind of event. I doubt the organizers even read that far into it, but I would also not be surprised if I found out some Dominionists had a hand in choosing the date. I wonder what any of the people attending would make of the bit where the alleged word of Yahweh is that the people of Judah are going to buy and sell slaves.
Joe:
Good luck. But watch out if he calls for reinforcements. I’ve heard that St Gabriel and that horn of his are something else again. The shakuhachi flute is not the only musical instrument that doubles as a weapon, and he doesn’t use the narrow end of his trumpet just for tootling into. I believe Old Testament armies were put to rout by it.
Also beware of St Cuthbert. I read somewhere that he lived for years exclusively on a diet of raw onions. He could probably knock an elephant down with one breath.
Because the US, as a nation, has not taxed the churches – we need a response.
Would the US be in crisis if churches paid tax? My guess is it would not.
If only prayers really worked! But wait, people pray for completely opposite things, so maybe they do work and they are just canceling each other out. The more people stay on their knees, the less opportunity they have to vote or write their congress people. Stay on your knees! :-)
Hehe. There’s hope for America in the afterlife, don’t you know?
I’m betting that doG’s response to this day of prayer will be to tell rick perry that doG wants him to run for president and bring the nation back to the canine fold, or crate, or doGhouse.
@Moewicus: we don’t need to cut her adrift……we just need to apologize to Mexico for the aggression of 1847 and, as a token of our deep regret, cede texas back to Mexico (but only after we ship as many republicans as possible to internment camps near El Paso)….just think how many problems that would solve……BTW do you think S Palin would then be able to see Mexico from her new mansion in Scottsdale?
I doubt there are many fans of Leon Wieseltier here, but he does have a way with words.
It worked for Hitler. This is nationalism pure and simple. Wrap yourself around the flag holding a gun and a bible. I think it’s dangerous and stupid, but this is what happens when people feel threatened, uncertain and confused about outside forces they do not understand and can’t control.
The stuff about “finding heaven on your knees” sounds like a corny porn flick.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who had that thought.
“Dear God, please bring rain.”
…
…
…
“Not a HURRICANE!!!”
Their god is incompetent as a rain god. I suggest praying to Tlaloc instead. After all, Texas is in his part of town.
I don’t notice any great shortage of prayin’ and praisin’ and repentin’ in the USA — I’m sure there’s plenty of that on any given Sunday morning, and lots other times of week as well. But God (being kinda stuck on himself) could always use a bunch more. So let’s blame whatever current troubles there may be (and there’s always some) on there not being enough prayin’ and praisin’ and repentin’ and demand that a stadium-full of folks do some, all together, very loudly (God’s also kinda deaf — being Ancient of Days will do that to ya’).
Religion: the gift that just keeps on takin’.
“Religion: the gift that just keeps on takin’.”
LOL! I’m going to steal this.
Sailor1031 @20:
Goodness, that’s clearly right, isn’t it? It should have been obvious: this is Perry just trying to get national (Religious Right) attention to juice up his obviously impending presidential run. Feeling dumb now….
The faithful should ask God to buy US Government bonds.
I sincerely hope you’ll join me in Houston on August 6th and take your place in Reliant Stadium with praying people asking God’s forgiveness, wisdom and provision for our state and nation.
I sincerely hope that Rick Perry will go f*** himself; doing so in front a stadium full of religious zealots might be a good start toward making me believe there really is a god. I’m not holding my breath.
Yup. looks like a Presidential bid to me, or some sort of political rally. Filling with place with evangelicals just guarantees a high stupidity quotient that can be exploited.
I can almost feel sorry for the religious these days because it’s just so damn obvious that there is absolutely nothing left of religion but its purpose as a tool for the most cynical of political operators. I wonder whether the people who set this up actually believe any of this nonsense. Or are they like Karl Rove, men who believe in absolutely nothing but the manipulation of gullibility for power?
If some superstitious tribe in Africa or South America was doing exactly the same thing, a) it wouldn’t make the news in the US; and, b) even if it did, Perry and his ilk would fall about laughing at how silly and primitive the whole spectacle was.
They’re sanctimonious idiots. It’s depressing that the US so handsomely rewards such sanctimonious idiocy while making secular rationality electorally toxic. Jesus, fuck! When will humanity ever grow up?
Given the Tea Party’s success in debt ceiling hostage-taking, Rick Perry can threaten secession if he is not elected president. Reading the right wing tea leaves (pun intended), one wonders if we are seeing the rise of a New Confederacy.
I’m hating this country right now. Thinking longingly of the cave at the North pole.
Orlando; well they’ve threatened before! But would you, or anyone else, go to war to keep them in the union?
Ophelia: don’t know about a cave at the North Pole, but my 50 acres near Kemptville, ON keeps looking better and better…..
Maybe they can ask Him for a loan :P.