Sheep may safely wear clogs
So 1500 people who currently work for the BBC in London are being shifted to working for the BBC in Salford, i.e. Manchester. This is rather like working for PBS in New York and being shifted to working for PBS in Pittsburgh…Though not all that much like it, since Manchester is a lot closer to London than Pittsburgh is to New York, plus there’s a hell of a lot of good stuff between Manchester and London, not to mention in a 50 mile radius of Manchester, which is not so true of Pittsburgh.
But never mind; it’s close enough. You get the idea. It’s a move to the provinces, and the industrial provinces at that; it’s a move to the rust belt; it’s a move out of The City to a city. Mind you – Manchester’s got two football teams – and an interesting past (Engels? remember him?) – and a university – but all the same, it’s not London.
The BBC understands. The BBC feels their pain. The BBC realizes they must be going through hell. The BBC knows how to help. A source explained:
Many of the London staff were horrified by the prospect of moving up North and there will no doubt be people who need counselling about their change of surroundings. It is hoped that the new vicar will be able to provide some pastoral support to the new community of London staff who, it is expected, will take a while to acclimatise to life outside the capital.
Ahhhh…isn’t that sweet? They’ll be wanting counselling about their change of surroundings. So I suppose that will be the vicar explaining about the 50 mile radius, and the two football teams, and the university, because the BBC staff won’t be able to figure out for themselves, being still paralyzed with horror about this moving up North thing. Plus of course the vicar will be able to pray with them, and pat them on the shoulder, and say there there there there, and tell them how dreadful Evan Harris is.
Or is there more to pastoral support than that? Does it include herding sheep? Is there a lot of sheep-farming in Manchester? I rather thought that was outside the cities, on the fells or dales or hawes or krills or something.
No matter; that’s for the vicar to work out; but anyway the staff is sure to be fine, because they are the new community of London staff, and no one who is the community can possibly be downcast or horrified for long.
For what it’s worth, Manchester has three universities.
Could have been worse. They could all have been transferred to Glasgow.
There’s a statue of Alan Turing and a bridge and ringroad named after him. Also a very lively gay scene.
Three universities; and a statue of Alan Turing; and a lively gay scene; and it’s not Glasgow. You are taking notes, Vicar, yes?
Oh wait though, Eagleton is there, isn’t he? At the most obvious of the three universities? But then so is Martin Amis. But then Martin Amis is my least favorite of the set – too self-obsessed and way too weird about women.
You can get Norm Geras to referee between them, perhaps. Between Tel and Mart, not Mart and women.
If one counts greater Manchester – it would in total amount to five universities. Don’t mean to be pernickity this hour of the night – blame it on Eruption Eyjafjallajoku Irish fallout. :-)!
Five universities; and a statue of Alan Turing; and a lively gay scene; and it’s not Glasgow.
Manchester not only has a gay lively scene, non-Glaswegianess, umpteen universities, and Alan Turing statues, bridges and ringroads, but it also has lots of good music. Joy Division, New Order, the Smiths, Simply Red, Oasis, James, Happy Monday, Stone Roses and (yes!) Herman and the Hermits are all from Manchester. BBC staff should listen to them rather than a vicar if they need cheering up.
And Liverpool is just up the road (within that 50-mile radius) with even more cultural stuff laid on. My only issue is that it’s bloody cold in Manchester/Liverpool – but London’s not all that much better. Anyway, maybe the vicar can recommend a good brand of gloves or something.
Well, I have just the solution for the BBC…. Robopriest. I think they could also replace the bishops in the House of Lords too.
As a lifelong Londoner, who spent three mostly VERY enjoyable years in Manchester ….
If you have to move to another city in England (see note), Manchester is probably as good as it gets.
Thriving arts scene, amazing beer and pubs, hothouse of the sciences (never mind Turing, what about Rutherford and Lovell?) superb and easily accessible countryside for walking, really good canals.
(Note: The other really civilised city in these isles is Edinburgh, but that is another discussion.)
And FAC 251 .
But on the downside; a new vicar.
Ah, the North’s fine now – we put in flushing toilets last year! I keep hearing rumours of something called ‘central heating’ too… I reckon the incomers will only have to keep warm by cuddling whippets for the first year or so, at best.
To sum up: everyone knows Manchester rocks. I don’t know Pittsburgh but I get the impression it isn’t considered to rock very much. The simile should be moving to somewhere that isn’t huge but is agreed by consensus to rock: San Francisco maybe, or Austin.
I thought we’d got rid of Eagleton – he’s not on the staff email list any more. And rustbelt my arse.
I’m trying to think of a downside to Manchester, but I’m struggling: it’s a big city somehow crammed into a small city. And it’s a hundred miles from Birmingham, which has to count for quite a lot…
Don’t be so hard on Pittsburgh. It’s not New York, but it’s a great city. It’s like Boston, with less assholes.
Salford’s not Manchester, it’s Salford. Not exactly a living death; but still, it’s Salford. Pack your cloth caps. Bring a whippet. Black pudding anyone? If I found out I was being forcibly transshipped to Salford, I’d pray. No idea who to, mind.
Heh. No consensus on what Manchester should really be compared to, here, to say nothing of Salford. I would hesitate to compare any inland city anywhere to any port city, and San Francisco in particular has a quality all its own. Pittsburgh is cool though. Hey, Buffalo is cool, and if Buffalo is Pittsburgh certainly is. Apologies for “rust belt”; I withdraw that; also Eagleton claim, I thought he was still there but wasn’t sure.
Eagleton is where he is not; and where he is not, there he is. He can probably practise bilocation, too. I’m not getting close enough to see if he has the odour of sanctity, though.
As opposed to the odour of sanctimony. We can all vouch for that. I suppose that’s the thing about being a Marxist Catholic, you get to be right about everything twice.
Ding ding! Good line!