The whore of Babylon on a bike
I like it when people fix little problems that most of us don’t even notice.
Iran plans to make special bicycles designed for women that will be compatible with Islamic regulations and not expose their body movements while riding, the newspaper Iran reported. The new bicycle would have a cabin to cover half of a rider’s body…Women in Iran are obliged to wear scarves and long gowns to hide their hair and body contours. Female athletes must also follow this rule and participate in sports wearing scarves and gowns. The clergy considers women’s body movements made while riding a bicycle to be provoking to men and not compatible with social rules.
I know what they mean, don’t you? Women’s body movements are provoking to men – and they keep doing it. Ever noticed that? They just never stop. They keep making body movements – the sluts. They walk here and there – they cough – they breathe. They eat food – they laugh – they turn the pages of books. They type, they drink coffee, they put their socks on. How are men supposed to be able to go about their lives with all that going on?! Women should either hold completely still – or be completely covered up – or ideally both.
That of course is especially true of any movement involving the arms, because of course movement of the arms reminds everyone of sex. Also especially true of movements of the head, because sometimes the head moves around during sex, also because you can put things in it. And triply or quadruply true of the – gulp – the – gasp – the – choke – legs. The legs the legs the legs. Legs, legs, leggggs – oh god help me. Legs. You know. Sex. Sex has legs in it. Because they’re up around you, and because of what’s between them. Actually legs should be against the law, if you think about it. Really. Legs – they’re filthy, they’re obscene, they’re disgusting. They should all be cut off! At birth! Women’s anyway. Not men’s of course. No need for that – just poke women’s eyes out, instead. Cut off their legs, poke out their eyes, make them wear tents when they walk around and little houses if they’re ever insane enough to try to ride a bicycle. The little house will of course make that impossible, so no more problem. No more women on bicycles with their legggggs going up and down, up and down, up and down – ohhhhhhh.
Uh, excuse me. I – um – I have a chill. I have to go now – time for prayers.
Those Iranian nutjobs are going about the male lust problem all wrong. Of course it’s a given that the fault is women’s. What they should do is demand that women wear nothing whatsoever. This male lust is a product of the men’s overheated imaginations, of course. The more female pulchritude is hidden, the more the men will lust after it. Once nothing is left to the imagination, these randy goats will calm down.
I know this from personal experience. I used to frequent nude beaches, but I had to give up the habit because naked women were becoming boring, and it was beginning to put a crimp in my sex life. I realized this in a blinding flash one day while at a nude beach here in Santa Cruz when everybody was naked except for one young woman in a little bikini, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. (True story)
Not just cycling, but sitting still in an internet cafe, how shocking. But then I re-read the news item and realised everything is OK. It’s only to avoid ‘unpleasant promiscuity’; pleasant promiscuity is still permissible.
I rather like this story. It demonstrates very nicely the lie to the argument – put forward by islamic ‘feminists’ – that the hijab liberates them.
Yeah, sure it’s only a piece of cloth but you put that on your head and you’ve compromised your autonomy. Everything that follows thereafter is well deserved. The loss of the freedom to vote, drive, work or even study at one extreme end.The loss of the simple pleasures of an uncovered head.The loss of access to practically all sports. The only islamic ‘solution’ to all these losses is gender segregation at the school, gym, pool, beach, supermarket or bus and where that is not possible, the women get stuck back at home. Which is where they should always be, of course.
I loved the critique O.B.keep up the good work.
Oo-errr missus …..
never heard of frustrated 15-year-old males second favourite activity?
Sniffing schoolgirls bicycle saddles?
( After which they go off and perform their favourite activity )
Ahem.
Their favourite activity being kicking cans down the street of course.
As a cyclist though I do want to see what this contraption is going to look like. A cabin???? Being a cyclist is like being a gazelle in the African plains – you have to have every sense alert, constantly looking behind you. Doesn’t Tehran have the highest number of road casualties in the world? Expect crushed cabins littering the streets.
Re Ride on rural bikes of a different kind etc.
In the euphoric, first flush of a new website, freedom comments that are lower than necessary may occur.
This was the case with rateyoursolicitor.com when a young barrister was allegedly told by a fellow barrister/solicitor colleague that she was “a village bicycle”.
He may have had a few drinks on him at the time and as a result acted out of jealous ardour for his obviously attractive young colleague.
All this may be true.
But it was in the aftermath to wreak havoc – as the barrister in question took the sites’ supposed Administrator
Moderator to the Four Courts in Dublin.
It may have been uncomfortable for those at the centre including the totally innocent John Gill the alleged Moderator & the seven who found themselves in the dock on 5th Oct 2006
He quoted afterwards:
“We don’t knock down walls because of things that may have been written about them. We don’t suppress technologies such as TV or film because they have been used for undesirable purposes. We cannot allow the web site to be knocked down because of these two young lawyers private antics”. Incidentally, the site is American based – so there with complexities all round
To be called “a rural bicycle” in Ireland is absolutely highly insulting to women. But so too is ‘Iran plans to make special bicycles designed for women that will be compatible with Islamic regulations and not expose their body movements while riding’.
“Not just cycling, but sitting still in an internet cafe, how shocking”.
Every second man that frequents the Internet at the Halfpenny Bridge – that I frequent either intermittently shakes his legs – stretches his arms – or cracks his bones.
I have asked innumerable regular women to observe this behaviour. They, like me, find this practice very uncanny? They could just as well – be cycling with all the movements they make!
Well, you know that proper folks used to put little skirts on piano legs. And all was right with the world.
Then the evil atheists somehow managed to suppress this wholesome custom, under the direction of Satan, no doubt. And now look where we are — divorce, fornication among the unmarried and even unengaged, man-on-dog … I can’t go on!
How about getting Pamela Anderson in a micro skirt ect to cycle round Tehran on a mans bike and watch the ayotolas heads explode!
Been there. Didn’t see any bicycles like that.
Of course you didn’t see any bicycles like that – that’s because the bicycles like that are planned. Notice that it says that in the second sentence of the post, the first sentence of the quoted passage. Notice that I nowhere say that they already exist. Notice the pointlessness of saying you didn’t see something that is in the planning stages as opposed to existing.
Notice the pointlessness of saying you didn’t see something that is in the planning stages as opposed to existing.
:-) I enjoyed this almost as much as the post itself, which is very funny. Thanks!
So much in the planning stage that I can’t find any repesentation of the contraption. No prototype, or even preliminary sketch. Just the same short press release.
It’s feasible, but I seriously doubt if the Iranian bicycle industry will be able to mass produce something like this;
http://www.go-one.us/
They seem to come in at around $13,000.
“How about getting Pamela Anderson in a micro skirt etc to cycle round Tehran on a man’s bike and watch the Ayatollah’s head explode”
Richard,
It will be more than the AYATOLLAH’S head that will EXPLODE if that were to occur.
HIS/HER celebrated credentials COULD ALSO BE VERY EXPLOSIVE DEVICES that will thus have to be accordingly dealt with as one could be talking about more than burst tyres/egos.
“On yer bike, AYATOLLAH!
Continuation: That is, if – were both to fall.
2They seem to come in at around $13,000.”
That’s a lot of dowry !
Oops, wrong thread.
This thread reminds me of this movie, which a cyclist just told me about:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0260332/
The second part is about a young woman who enters a bicycle race against the wishes of both her husband and society. As the husband and other men from the village ride beside her to convince her to return home, the race begins to symbolize a freedom from limitations that she desperately seeks.