The Smith of Smiths
Okay so if you’re tired of reading about the Dictionary (the Fashionable Nonsense one) then just skip this post. Don’t read it. Not any of it, I mean – because that’s all this one is going to be about. So, fine, you’re still reading, so don’t come complaining to me that it’s about the Dictionary, because I did say.
Although I must say you’re very fussy and demanding if you are tired of reading about it. I mean after all. Look around you. Do you see any advertising? Any PayPal? Any donation box? Any subscription? You do not. Is this place all cluttered up and junky and slow to load like Slate because it’s so full of advertising? It is not. Here I am, all rags and darns and patches, wondering where my next meal is coming from, and you’re tired of reading about the Dictionary? That’s gratitude! Never satisfied, some people –
No no, I’m only joking. You know how I am. Anyway, the point is, the prospects for the Dictionary are looking quite good. We heard awhile ago, in the summer sometime, that it would be in all the branches of Waterstones. That seems like a good sign (as well as of course a good way for lots of people to be able to pick it up and open it and read a bit and shriek with laughter and buy it). Seems like a sign that someone at Waterstones thinks more than four people will find it funny. Okay so that was good, and then last week we heard it’s also going to be at Smiths. That’s an even better sign. Someone at Smiths must think more than eight people will find it funny. Actually what we heard, or what we think we heard, is that it’s going to be featured in one of Smith’s Christmas promotions. But that can’t be right. We must have misheard, we must have missed a ‘not’ or something. A ‘never in a million years’ perhaps. ‘The Dictionary is going to be featured in one of Smith’s Christmas promotions when hell freezes over and Madonna converts to secular rationalism’ – that’s what was said but there was a sudden burst of traffic noise along with machine gun fire, low-flying aircraft, and a blast of heavenly trumpets, just as the clause starting with ‘when’ was uttered – so we missed it. We’re a little bit deaf anyway, and then the sound effects came in. Or maybe it’s the Smiths bit we misheard – maybe the Smith in question is not W.H. Smith but one W.A. (Arnie) Smith who has ever such a nice little bookstall in Slough, along with another (a ‘branch’) that his nephew manages in Luton. Quite busy places, both of them; they get as many as fifteen customers a day sometimes. And they do lovely Christmas promotions.
Congratulations. I have a friend who recently published a first book, and the excitement of learning that one or another chain plans to carry it, and even feature it, somehow allays the disappointment if the book langushes in the low hundreds on Amazon.
OT: The UCI campus newspaper totally missed the story of Professor Ngugi wa Thiongo. However, after I (perhaps a little rudely) berated them for the oversight, they apologized and promised to make the story a major feature and interview in an upcoming issue. Props to B and W for providing the links that supported my angry letter to the editor.
Gratters! Does the book contain more than what you’ve already published online? Hey, I’ll buy it anyway.
Wow, well done, Eric. And props to Robin Varghese of 3 Quarks Daily who provided the links first.
Connie, Oh yes, the book contains a lot more than the online version. The book is more than three times longer than the online. Thanks for buying anyway!
Now if a few (thousand) more people do likewise, then – well a few thousand people will have an amusing read, that’s what.
“somehow allays the disappointment if the book langushes in the low hundreds on Amazon.”
Actually, you’re doing pretty well if your book is even in the low thousands (for example, Steve Pinker’s The Blank Slate is currently at about 9000) on Amazon.
Sweet. Then my buddy is doing all right in the mid 4000s right now.
Absolutely. Unless his publisher is hoping for the next blockbuster, then that’s a good result.
That sounds pretty good! Congratulations!
And thanks, btw, for mentioning Hirschi Ali’s film in the news section. I had heard of it some weeks ago, but wasn’t sure if anything in English had appeared on it.
Thanks, Merlijn, and you’re welcome, and thanks in turn to Jonathan Dresner, who sent me the link to that article.