The Times (the London one) slobbers all over a man who wants to order up a customized baby for himself. What a shame there are no baby factories.

In recent years starry couples have raised the profile of surrogacy, including Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, Robbie Williams and Ayda Field, and Elton John and David Furnish.

Oh well then, if famous people can order up luxury babies so can any man.

To go solo, Northwood must first find a woman willing to go through the invasive procedure of donating an egg, which will be inseminated in a lab. Then he needs to find another to undergo IVF with the resulting embryo, followed by pregnancy and giving birth.

Why should any woman do that for him? No reason on earth.

Often it’s easier to navigate these hurdles abroad, in countries where surrogacy is a regulated industry. By contrast, UK law prohibits payments of more than £750 to egg donors per cycle, while surrogates can only be reimbursed for expenses. It’s understandable, then, that Northwood considered doing it in the US — “but that can cost more than $200,000 [£153,000], which I can’t afford” — or Mexico, which is cheaper. 

What could possibly go wrong?

Some people are highly critical of egg donation and surrogacy, saying women should not be “wombs for rent” and that no one has the “right” to a baby. Northwood shrugs. “This is modern families now. I’ve grown up with people’s opinions about me being wrong to date men. Keep your opinions to yourself.”

No. You keep your desire for a customized motherless baby to yourself.

Going it alone feels positive, “in that I don’t have to take anyone else’s feelings into consideration”. 

Including the feelings of the customized baby. What a nice man.