Get consent to chop her head off
The BBC starts by saying it’s dangerous, then moves to saying be careful when you do it. They should have stuck with it’s dangerous.
Boys as young as 14 have been asking their teachers how to choke girls during sex, a teacher has told the BBC. Dr Tamasine Preece, who teaches at Bryntirion Comprehensive in Bridgend, said some children now felt it was a normal part of sex and asked if “a soft squeeze on the neck is OK”. Health experts said pornography was a key contributor and that there was no safe way to strangle someone.
There you go. Third sentence: there’s no safe way to strangle someone. And yet the Beeb goes on to give advice on how to do it.
Dr Preece, the school’s curriculum lead for health and wellbeing, said there had been questions “creeping in, such as ‘How can I choke someone safely?'”. She added: “I’ve certainly been told by some children that they think that girls really want to be choked – with one saying girls are mad for it.”
Johanna Robinson, Wales’ national adviser on violence against women and girls, has heard similar examples. “I’ve spoken to sexual health nurses who told me men in college were asking questions like ‘How do I safely strangle my partner?’ One young person was quoted to me asking ‘What do I do if I need to resuscitate my partner?’.'”
You don’t. There’s no such thing as “safely strangling.”
Dr Preece said conversations needed to include consent and how that must continue throughout sex. She encourages conversation in her classroom, so teenagers understand consent is needed rather than “just blindly accepting it” and encourages children to talk to their parents as well.
Oh ffs. Consent is not the issue! It’s no good asking for consent to throw girls off tall buildings; just don’t do it. Go back to the beginning of the article, where it says strangling is NOT SAFE.
Maybe seven years ago, a high school teacher was discussing a case where a man was caught raping a woman who had passed out behind a dumpster outside a bar. And all of the 16 and 17 year old male students in her class were of the opinion, “well, as long as she doesn’t say “no”, it’s okay.”
No recognition of limits or boundaries – scary stuff…
The sex columnist Dan Savage is pretty blase about all sorts of extreme sex stuff, but he’s been pretty clear that strangling just can’t be done safely.
Edge play is edge play; it isn’t safe *at all* and that’s why it’s edge play. There is barely any space between strangling and gun play; no one would argue that gun play is a good idea (I would hope).
Out of curiosity, are there ever cases where boys watch porn and decide that they themselves would like to be choked?
Autoerotic asphyxiation is primarily a male paraphilia, so yes, absolutely.
Except that the males choke themselves. There is no power dynamic if there no dominant/submissive aspect. It’s apparently a different thing than having someone else choke you, which is fkn weird enough. David Carradine died from it, which is how I heard about it.
Well the point there is that some men do get off on getting choked (and “femdom choking” wasn’t hard to find, though the whole fact that the word “femdom” is used tells you a lot: the default version of dom is male). Honestly really don’t want to get into it because things start getting gross so I’ll put forth the following without going into detail.
Dismiss evo psych all you like, but we are animals in an environment we did not evolve to exist in. Also, please understand that I am on the “is” part of the “is/ought” distinction.
*Male paraphilias probably exist for the same reason our human brains are drowning in cortisol even when it isn’t useful. The mating urge gets channeled into weird places because we just live in a different world than the hunter gatherers did.
*The domination/submission dynamic in sexual relationships probably was the default one back in the day (in exchange for protection from the other males). Even my neutered male cat does it. The choking thing was probably common enough before porn became a thing as an outgrowth of the mechanical fact that we generally mate facing each other. Wide access to pornography is just stimulating something that’s already there, increasing its prevalence. As to men being choked, I suspect that particular fetish *is* largely predicated on the spread of pornography.
I dunno, I’m rambling a bit, but suffice it to say I think all male humans are dangerous given the right circumstances because boys will be boys. Since boys will be boys, we should be taking measures to dissuade them from undesirable actions (such as sexual violence). Also, while that bear meme is incredibly stupid, women *should* be quite wary of men.