The BBC continues its futile struggle to convince us that what sex a person is can be that person’s very own choice.

You might have heard the term non-binary. People use it when they don’t fit into the categories of female or male.

No, people use it when they’re vain and self-absorbed enough to think they’re Not Like You Tame Conventional Peons.

Caitlin Benedict came out as non-binary last year. But as they’ve found, it doesn’t mean they know all the answers straight away. In fact, they had so many questions, they decided to make a podcast about it.

Save yourself the trouble, Caitlin! Just catch on that we all “feel we don’t fit” into some category or other and get over yourself.

My friend and co-presenter Amrou talks about how hard it is for some people to get their heads around using “they” and “them” for us, rather than “he” or “her”. They once told me about the time someone had said to them, “Excuse me, he uses they/them pronouns.” How I laughed at the irony. Of course I wouldn’t do anything like that, I thought: I am a perfect woke non-binary person. But literally a week later, I fumbled over someone’s pronouns and said to Amrou, “Oh, does he use ‘they’?”

Being non-binary doesn’t make you suddenly immune from doing silly, offensive things. But I’ve learned from having people trip over themselves to apologise (with a 15 minute backstory that feels a lot like an excuse sometimes) for calling me “she” instead of “they”. The best thing you can do is say sorry and then just get on with it.

No, the best thing you can do is stop setting these ridiculous traps and just get on with your life.

I kept a few little bits of makeup: the eyebrow stuff that makes my eyebrows even darker and bushier than they come naturally, but also a little pot of pale brown shimmery eye shadow. I hadn’t even bought it. It was given to me by a friend. I kept it but I didn’t wear it. How could anyone take me seriously as a non-binary person with my girly face AND girly eyeshadow on top of that?

I brought this up with Jamie Windust, editor of FRUITCAKE magazine, when Amrou and I got to speak with them for the podcast. “Why would it be gendered?” they said. I was embarrassed. Of course there are conventions – makeup is for girls, rejecting all skincare until you look like you’ve lived in the Arctic all winter is for boys. But those conventions feel so restrictive, so pointless. I am learning not to think about them. Instead, I’m trying to make every decision based on how I feel and what I think.

Right. Now ditch the “non-binary” part. See how that works? Ditch the conventions, without claiming to be fascinatingly special. Ditch the conventions without talking about yourself.