No more silence left to give
Self-censorship is like housework: the vast majority of it is done by women, and men only notice when they think we’ve missed a bit.
She’s writing about Graham Norton and his ill-informed views on JK Rowling, but of course the pattern is ubiquitous.
This is true not just about discussions of sex and gender, but female experience both in the home and in public space: there is so much we do not say, to which men remain completely oblivious. They do not appreciate all our silences, all our accommodations. All they notice are the inconvenient truths we do choose to utter. For those, we are damned.
One comfort here is that that makes being silent kind of pointless, so let’s not be silent. If we don’t get any points for shutting up why should we shut up? There’s no payoff. Fuck it then.
I suppose the thing that appals me most is the lack of gratitude. Graham Norton and his friends have no awareness of just how restrained and polite women have been whilst being told we are nothing more than ambulatory penetrable holes or ideas in men’s heads. Why should I write thousands of carefully considered words explaining why I’m more than that? Yet I, and countless others do, whilst many more women never get that far.
Again, it is just like housework. You get a whole room — a whole lifetime — of pristine female politeness and all men notice is that one speck of dirt, that one moment when we women choose to say “no”. They’d best get used to it, though. We have no more silence left to give.
That last line is such a gem.
Norton has apparently deactivated his Twitter account for a while and comedian David Baddiel is explaining that this is due to the underserved abuse that GN was receiving. Many people have commented asking for examples of the “abuse” and suggesting that, maybe, he is just referring to criticism.
Apparently a number of people have trawled through Norton’s past statements and pointed out times that he was misogynistic and mean to women. It has been pointed out that highlighting such things is not abuse (or cancel culture) but simply “accountability”. The irony is delightful.
Of course, just because there’s no carrot, doesn’t mean there’s no stick. Then again, when did appeasing the guy with the stick ever make anyone safer?
#1 Colin
Yep, I thoroughly enjoyed how rapidly that comment turned around on him. Welcome to the discussion, enjoy your accountability.
J.K. Rowling, Suzanne Moore, and Hadley Freeman all got rape and death threats because of their opinions and didn’t budge. (They’re braver than I am).
Graham Norton got some pushback online and deleted his Twitter. He isn’t brave. (Shame, I used to enjoy Norton’s work).
While we’re on the subject of washed-up comedians: I see US comedian Julie Klausner (best known for publicly bullying a Black teenage girl online) is attacking J. K. Rowling:
” JKR is playing the victim instead of taking accountability for the deeply irresponsible and bigoted things she’s espoused.”
https://twitter.com/julieklausner/status/1580898251011915776
Fark. I had to retort to that one.
Wow. Good point there.
This is the bit about Klausner publicly shaming a teenager. Seems Klausner likes attacking more talented celebs, whether they’re J. K. Rowling, Zendaya or John Cleese:
https://ew.com/article/2016/03/13/zendaya-julie-klausner-feud-twitter/