Sounding awesome

FAQ Q&A your questions answered:

Isn’t there…isn’t there already an Alaska Pacific University?

There might be, sure. Lots of things have similar names, or share initials.

OK but “Pacific”?

Alaska borders the Pacific Ocean.

The reason that’s funny is that there already is a University of Texas at Austin, which is quite well known and well regarded. (It’s also, come to think of it, the location of that tower where one Charles Whitman locked himself in and shot a lot of people in 1966, a time when mass murders of that kind were a novelty. That part’s not funny.)

Will there be “safe spaces” or “trigger warnings” at The APU?

No. No topics are disallowed and no uncomfortable subjects are off-limits at The APU.

Will The APU promote CRT or BDS?

No, The APU will not allow students or professors to practice the poisonous academic assault on American history known as Critical Race Theory, or to engage in political, cultural, or economic boycotts that unfairly target the only democracy in the Middle East.

What degree programs do you offer?

None.

Doesn’t a university almost definitionally have to offer degrees, and in fact isn’t the term generally understood to mean institutions with post-graduate programs?

The APU is not so vain as to imagine it can know what “most people” understand by the term “university.” All we know is that United States law does not specifically define what can and cannot be called a “university.” Maybe in other countries only “the queen” or “the state” get to define what is and isn’t a university; to us that smacks of intellectual authoritarianism.

OK well then what are the undergraduates you mentioned going to do if they can’t get a degree from The APU

We do plan to offer degrees eventually. We expect to offer our first MA program, Applied Entrepreneurial Optimism, to be ready by 2022.

Heh heh heh. Just what I thought – they sound much more like entrepreneurs than academics.

H/t Rob

Updating to add for the pre-caffeinated: this here is satire.

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