They were what?

“A federal health agency halted a public-service coronavirus advertising campaign funded by $250 million in taxpayer money after it offered a special vaccine deal to an unusual set of essential workers: Santa Claus performers,” the Wall Street Journal reports.

“As part of the plan, a top Trump administration official wanted the Santa performers to promote the benefits of a Covid-19 vaccination and, in exchange, offered them early vaccine access ahead of the general public, according to audio recordings. Those who perform as Mrs. Claus and elves also would have been included.”

They…you…what…

They can’t even do things in a non-criminal way when there’s no need for the criminality!

“Listen up, Santa dude – promote the vaccine or we’ll burn your house down – no, wait, wrong script – promote the vaccine and we’ll put you at the head of the line.”

“No need, Mister Ambassador, I’m happy to promote the vaccine.”

“Listen here, you, take the deal or we’ll burn your house down!”