Thank god it was a safe environment
This shows how grotesquely unethical these so-called feminist pro-BDSM academics are. Shame on her: Grace Millane trial: expert on sexual culture testifies
So I read the linked article. Dear god.
The defence team representing the man accused of murdering Grace Millane has called an academic to speak about sexual culture.
The man is on trial in the High Court at Auckland, charged with murdering Ms Millane on the night of 1 and 2 December last year.
It is not disputed that the British backpacker died in his apartment or that he later buried her body in a suitcase in the Waitākere Ranges.
The Crown’s case is that the accused strangled her to death, while the man’s defence says her death was accidental after they engaged in consensual choking during sex.
Stop right there.
They engaged in consensual choking during sex? Oh really? Yet only she ended up dead. Was it “consensual choking” or was it he choked her? At least be clear about it.
So the defense called Professor Clarissa Smith of the University of Sunderland to explain about consensual choking in which only the woman ends up dead.
The court heard she had been asked by the accused’s defence team to speak about modern male and female sexuality, and BDSM practices, breath play and erotic asphyxia.
Prof Smith told the court attitudes about sexuality and sex were constantly changing and had moved on from “a powerful mythology” that sex had a single purpose.
“So it’s not just reserved for one’s life partner or marriage but it can be extremely pleasurable for people who are not in a long term relationship.”
Hello, that’s not the issue. Long term, short term, that’s not the issue. The issue is strangling and death.
Professor Smith said BDSM was an “umbrella term” for a range of sexual practices including bondage, domination and sadomasochism.
One of the man’s lawyers Ron Mansfield asked the professor if it was true that such practices were humiliating or violent towards women.
Prof Smith said the practices were about exploring the experiences of humiliation and violence in a “safe environment” without genuine intent to humiliate or be violent.
How did that work out?
Eh?
How did that work out for Grace Millane?
How well did that “safe environment” work out for her?
Prof Smith said public discussions of “kinks” had become widespread after the popular novel 50 Shades of Grey was published.
Mr Mansfield also asked the professor if breath play – a practice whereby breath is restricted during sex – was aggressive or an assault.
“It would be if it’s without consent but where two people have consented to take part in that then it absolutely is not. But that’s the same for any kind of sexual act. Within BDSM it is very important that consent is given and that a couple agree on what they’re going to do.”
Cool cool cool cool, so then everything will be fine, except that Grace Millane ended up dead and buried in a suitcase.
Whatever; it’s kink; don’t be kink-shaming now, that would be terrible.
WTF? The experiences of humiliation? Where one is being humiliated and the other is humiliating? I’m sorry, I know, Kink and all that, but no. Women suffer humiliation. They begin to internalize it. They begin to expect it. Maybe at some point they begin to want it, especially when the culture has fed them books like 50 Shades of Gray and all sorts of internet pornography. It is part of what our culture does to girls and women…tells them we aren’t worth anything. We are baby machines. We are “uterus-havers”. We are “menstruators” – and menstruation is bad, dirty, filthy, something to be ashamed of and hide from.
So if Jack Kevorkian had strangled the people he consensually helped to die, it would have been okay? Is that the idea? Even though I doubt Ms. Millane consented to death, only to “safe” choking.
A safe environment – where a woman ends up dead.
Language means nothing anymore. Woman might have penis. White skin might be black person. Old person might be toddler. Safe environment might mean a place where women die – consensually, of course.
If global warming wipes out our civilization, it is probably what we deserve.
Good grief, what muddled and self-serving thinking. You can engage in a consensual act AND it can be aggressive or violent. Hitting, restraint, choking or verbal abuse don’t cease to be violent and aggressive just because you say “whip me, beat me, make me feel dirty.” That’s kinda the point.
Not into kink myself, but I even I can see that there is a vast difference between restricting breath for a short period, say 10 or 15 seconds, and the sustained restriction of 5 – 7 MINUTES that it requires to extinguish human life. I am told it isn’t easy to choke a person to death, that it requires great strength to continue the hold, that the choker’s muscles start to complain, so I honestly cannot see anything in the least mutually sexually satisfying in what the name suppressed killer did.
What we must keep in mind is that the New Zealand legal system is adversarial, that it was the job of Brian Dickey to prosecute the case and of Ian Brookie to provide a defence. And, as we have seen in courts over the years, an “expert” can be found for any topic, “for the usual fee plus expenses.”
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/117623648/the-complete-evidence-the-grace-millane-murder-trial-heard-inside-the-case-that-gripped-a-nation
I’ve said before, and I’ll say it again: If a man chokes to death a woman who is not somehow seriously threatening him, then it should be prosecuted the same as doing it on purpose even if he claims it was “breath play”. You mess up, you go to prison. That can be part of the thrill (he can consider his prison sentence to be extended role play).
Fifty Shades of Grey (and its author, EL James) has a lot to answer for. BDSM has been around forever, but it was a fringe culture most people had barely heard of and didn’t know anything about. EL James certainly doesn’t know anything about it. But now it is used as a shield for men to abuse and kill women.
In this case, it sounds like justice was done. I understand that everyone is entitled to a lawyer, but it seems unlikely to me that this lawyer believed his client innocent. Nobody who accidentally killed someone takes photos of their dead body.
It’s impossible to establish consent when one of the participants is dead. So unless the cause of death was something natural like a heart attack, we can’t assume it. I don’t know how (or even if) you could craft a law that enshrines that. We have to stop killers hiding behind the “breath play” excuse.
Claire, I agree with everything you’ve said. I doubt the defence team actually believed their client innocent, although only they can answer that question. I think they were at pains to deliver the most robust defence they could based on their client story, while remaining as respectful of Grace Millane as they could. The first is a requirement of law and ethics, the second was largely a choice. It can’t have been an easy or pleasant task.
https://www.straight.com/life/986016/savage-love-heed-proper-etiquette-whilst-choking-someone
Kind of disappointed that Savage seems mostly concerned about neck trauma and gives advice for restricting air in other ways.
I’m also a little skeptical that people die that easily. I think it’s much more likely just what’s claimed after the fact.
But perhaps I’m being “judgy”.
Skeletor, ttheclaims you’re sceptical of
is essentially correct if badly worded. It would be more accurate to say that people have died from injuries caused by being choked for a short time. People can die from a single blow to the throat, and choking, if done violently, can replicate the same trauma as a punch can cause.
Personally, just the idea of getting a thrill from humiliating anybody, let alone a sexual partner, boggles my mind. Actually, the whole BDSM thing is a complete mystery to me. I suppose I’m kinky that way.
The contention that this was BDSM practiced in a safe manner is completely disproven by the fact that there was a death.
We can agree that consent is a major component in this case. So then… did the deceased consent to be strangled? The accused says she did, and the deceased is not able to be reached for comment due to being dead. But let’s go with the possibility that she did initially. Did she consent to be strangled to the point of death? I think it safe to assume she did not. Which means she was strangled to death against her will, irrespective of whether it started out as kink.
At minimum, this is an intentional injury leading to unintentional death, i.e. manslaughter.
There’s a steady trickle of accidental deaths from self-asphyxiation. A number of public figures in recent years. But I don’t remember ever seeing a report where a woman choked herself to death.
Even if Ms Millane voluntarily participated in dangerous activity, her killer must be held responsible for his part. All his actions around her death make ANY claims about her consent extremely dubious.
Yeah, I am extremely cool with the rule being “someone dies while you’re choking them, you do life in prison regardless of whether it was super hot fun kinky consensual hijinx.” Be interesting to see how the calculus changes when there’s a risk of the man going to prison instead of just the minor harm of a woman dying.