The Windsors were making internal efficiencies
Marina Hyde gets off some wicked jokes about the royals and especially Andrew.
The Queen’s second son was summoned to a Buckingham Palace meeting on Wednesday, where it was revealed the Windsors were reducing the head count/making internal efficiencies/pivoting to video. People love to imagine the royal family is just like us, so this was just your standard meeting with your mother in which you’re decruited and offered the chance to retrain as someone who does even less work for a dazzling fortune.
We don’t know exactly what Her Majesty said to Andrew, but as a piece of placeholder dialogue, it’s probably best to imagine the Queen demanding his gun and badge, then barking: “You’re on traffic duty! Sex traffic duty.”
It’s that whole unfortunate business about Jeffrey Epstein, you see. Most unfawtchnt.
And it really was a landmark, even accounting for the fact that, since George I, this has been a family widely recognised for its lack of intelligence. One of the sensational real-time revelations of the Emily Maitlis masterpiece was the fact that Prince Edward must have been the clever one. Prince Andrew was fully scores of IQ points away from being bright enough to pull his gambit off, yet retained a mesmerisingly misplaced faith in his own charm.
Oh I don’t know, I thought it was pretty charming the way he pretended to remember where he was on March 10 2001 because it was at a Pizza Express in Woking and he’s hardly ever been to Woking.
Ooh OUCH!
He doesn’t seem to understand evidence or defense or…. anything, really.
His defense against Virginia Giuffre’s rape allegation, for example, is that she described him as ‘sweaty’ and at the time he was unable to sweat.
Oh, well case closed, then.
Then there’s his claim that the photograph of him hugging her was faked because he doesn’t hug, therefore case closed even tighter. I’m not much of a hugger either, but if I were in the same position I think I’d be pointing out that I don’t rape, rather than that I don’t hug. But that’s just me.
Maybe he doesn’t want to lie.
Ok, but I’m not the only one who just binge-watched season 3 of The Crown, am I?
It’s actually quite a good show. I think it straddles the line nicely between empathizing with the odd plight the royals face, without pulling any punches about how privileged, clueless, and self-destructive they can be.
The plight aspect is quite interesting. I haven’t seen The Crown, but I read something somewhere (I forget where) about the anguish of Betty’s father when the wicked David quit and stuck him with the job. Betty’s father reeeeeeeeeally didn’t want it. The whole family was distraught. So she was basically stuck with this situation and of course so are all of them. Wicked David thought it was ok to just quit, but those left behind have utter contempt and disgust for his abandonment of Duty. Betty is all about Duty. I still think the institution is fairly poisonous, but I sort of see why they can’t escape it.
I kind of like Elizabeth. She didn’t ask to be born into that situation. She seems like she has a brain in her head, PLUS they say she has a sense of humor.
Of course, it’s easy to look like an admirable person when you’re being compared against a background of nincompoops.
Ophelia,
Yes, that’s a recurring plot point/theme throughout the first three seasons. The Duke of Windsor (former Edward VIII) is despised by Elizabeth II, her mother, and her sister. I mean, if you’re a monarchist, the whole deal for you is that you get all this wealth and privilege and power in exchange for a life of duty. Edward VIII enjoyed the wealth, privilege, and power, but threw a hissy fit when he couldn’t get all the privileges and power he wanted, and so tossed aside the duty to go live a life of wealth and comfort abroad. So for the remaining Windsors, he’s betrayed everything that they hold up as a rationalization for their existences.
On top of that, they are all convinced that George VI died prematurely because of the stress of the job, so they blame him for that as well. (Not to mention the whole Nazi-sympathizer thing and playing footsie with fascists during the war.)
I don’t know if this scene is truthful or taking some liberties, but early in Season 3 we see a flashback to Elizabeth and Margaret as young girls. It being unlikely that George VI will have any sons at this point, Elizabeth is being treated as the heir apparent now, but she and Margaret decide to ask if they can switch because Elizabeth doesn’t want to be queen but Margaret does and would be so much better at it. It… doesn’t go well.
I also had some sympathy for Prince Charles of all people during this season, when he is explaining to Camilla (not-yet-Parker-Bowles) how difficult it is to reconcile the fact that the entire purpose for his existence doesn’t come to fruition until his mother dies.
Which is not to say the series is all sympathetic. Phillip in particular comes across terribly. He’s just smart enough to know that the royals have to change with the times and earn the people’s affection and loyalty, but he’s just as tone deaf as the others on how to achieve it. Plus the constant moping about how he’s subordinate to his wife, which I try to be generous about given the times but it’s hard to feel sorry for a man who snaps at people because he’s bitter than only 99.9999999% of the world has to bow and scrape before him.
Anyway, I think it’s well-written and well-acted, and I recommend it wholeheartedly.