All shall have prizes
Turmoil at the Miss Universe Pageant:
The Miss Universe pageant is once again embroiled in controversy, this time because all contest losers have identified as winners, demanding that the pageant’s organizers recognize their subjective identities as objective truth.
Dozens of contestants came out as winners, but the allegedly open and inclusive pageant organizers refused to crown all of them champions in keeping with their internally felt reality.
“It’s bigoted and disgusting,” said one woman from South America. “Despite the fact that I have declared myself to be a winner, as my feelings have dictated, they have thus far refused to crown me Miss Universe along with Miss Philippines. It’s 2018, people.”
What kind of “inclusive” pageant is that? Excluding everyone from winning except one cis-winner person is exclusionary and runnerupphobic.
And the beat goes on…..
Next up, don’t bother with university. If you want a doctorate then identify as a doctor.
Don’t go grovelling to your boss for a raise, identify as the boss and award yourself one.
Deep in legal jeopardy? You can be the judge to pronounce you ‘not guilty’. All you need do is…well, you know.
Oh, and merry Christmas to those who do Christmas.
Babylon Bee is a wonderful parody site that sometimes is mistaken for real news.
I thought the parody was too broad to need pointing out as parody.
It’s no longer parody when it comes to the magic of identity; prophesy maybe, but not parody. Poe’s Law doesn’t quite cover identity politics anymore; we need Poe+.