The latest thing

The brainless euphemism strikes again.

Parking spaces ‘too narrow for modern vehicles’

Oh that’s what they are – not way too big, not monstrously out of proportion and dangerous to others and a boost to global warming – they’re modern. It’s so dull and old-fashioned and clueless not to drive monstrous trucks instead of small cars or god forbid just taking a damn bus.

A council is widening parking bays in some of its car parks “to accommodate the larger size of modern vehicles”. Colchester City Council is making the changes at its St Mary’s and St John’s car parks as part of a £1m improvement scheme. “Many of our city centre parking bays are underused simply because they are too narrow for modern vehicles,” said Martin Goss, portfolio holder for neighbourhood services.

That’s not “modern,” chum, that’s consumerism ratcheting everything ever upwards while the planet we live on gets less hospitable to life.

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