Empathy deficit
A deep question.
Because they’re playing a trick, that’s why.
I suppose there are some circumstances where it doesn’t matter much, but for anything up close and personal, yes morally speaking you damn well should inform.
And there is something wrong with being trans: it’s based on a lie, and it’s inherently deceptive.
Willoughby: “I don’t get the “informed consent” … Why should trans people have to declare themselves?”
Uh, that’s the “informed” part of “informed consent”, Willoughby.
Hope that helps.
Note the lie: Willoughby justifies transwomen withholding info on the grounds that ‘cis’ folks aren’t required to declare themselves–but is also part of the population that is demanding that everyone give their pronouns in emails, profiles and so forth, which is straight-up requiring cis people to identify as such.
Because you’re the ones lying about your sex. Duh!
Sure there is. If you decieve someone into having sex with you by pretending to be someone you’re not, it doesn’t matter what your orientation, or “gender identity” is. It’s the deception part that is wrong. You are lying about your “personal info.” That’s going to be a red flag no matter what that personal info is, if the other person’s consent hinges on that very information. To put it more tranactionally, you’re no allowed to purchase something with counterfeit money. In fact it’s a crime. The same goes for consent. If the consent was given on the strength of that deception, a consent that would have been withheld had true identity of the individual seeking it had been known at the time, it means that it wasn’t consentual sex at all, but rape or sexual assault.
It’s not “homophobic” or “transphobic” or “misandrist” or “misogynist” if someone exercizes their preference for partners of a particular sex. Sex is about sex, not imagined and imaginary “gender identity.” Your “gender identity” does not and cannot change your sex, no matter what it says in your passport. Your passport could just as authoritatively say that you are invisible, but it doesn’t have any more power to render you invisible than it has to turn you into a female. There’s nothing and no one that can do that. Nobody can legislate reality. We can still see you’re a man, and we have the right to say you are a man.
So wave your passport all you like. It won’t get you anywhere. Just because the IOC would let you get into the boxing ring against a woman doesn’t mean that it gives you the right to get into someones’s bed on the strength of your fraudulent claim to being “female.” And unlike athletics, part of the dating game actually does depend upon what one might well call “genital inspections.” And if you don’t pass that “test” (or if you fail to meet any other need, requirement, or desire someone might have before consenting to let you become their intimate partner), you can’t force them to change their mind. They don’t owe you anything. And, since you obviously need some guidance on this, such consent as is given is always provisional; it can always be withdrawn at any time for any reason.
All of the surgery, hormones, clothing, accessories, and makeup in the world can’t change the fact that you are male. To maintain otherwise is deceitful, however well or fleetingly you might “pass.” Nobody needs any reason at all to say “No” to you at any time. Ever. One of those reasons might be because you’re engaged in an ongoing lie. Or maybe just the fact that you’re an asshole. Perhaps someday you’ll find someone who loves you, and wants you for you; but until that day, nobody is obligated to do either on account of your supposed “identity.” We all get to say “No.”