Yebbut that’s not what competitive sports does. That’s not how it works. The whole point is that somebody wins, which entails that somebody loses. It’s not about “being kind”; it’s about being the best.

San Jose State volleyball played its first game on Thursday night since three Mountain West schools announced they would forfeit rather than play the Spartans and transgender starter Blaire Fleming. 

After the match, Spartans head coach Todd Kress said he was “disappointed” that his team was “losing opportunities to play” but did not reference why, exactly, schools don’t want to face San Jose State. 

Well, Coach Kress, people are “choosing not to play” your team because your team chooses to roster a biological male. You’ve made a choice, so they’ve made their own choice. 

That’s kind of how this works. 

Colorado State head coach Emily Kohan also bemoaned that politics were involved with collegiate women’s volleyball…”I don’t have a strong desire to be a politician in the future. But I do have a strong desire to raise critical thinkers in my program.  And for them to understand their own selves and what’s important to them, and be able to make really conscious and mature decisions out of that. And to always make those decisions out of kindness, right?” 

No. Not right. Not in the sense you mean. Kindness is not relevant here. Fairness is relevant here. Women being “kind” by letting men cheat them in their own sports is not even “kindness”; it’s masochism, it’s surrender, it’s letting bullies win.

Kindness is not always appropriate or useful or right. It’s not good to be kind to people like Trump, for instance. It only encourages him to be even worse. People like Trump need to be told No, with no warmth or charm or apology or kindness to soften the blow. It’s the same with men who want to ruin women’s sports. No.