M&Ms in go-go boots
All this time I didn’t realize that Tucker Carlson has been ranting about the loss of sex appeal in M&Ms. I had no idea.
“America, let’s talk,” M&M’s began on social media on Monday. Later, “We have decided to take an indefinite pause from the spokescandies.”
What happened? And what is a spokescandy?
The former is easy to answer: Tucker Carlson. The Fox News host embarked on a crusade against the M&M’s the moment the treatmakers disgusted him last year by removing the green M&M’s much beloved go-go boots in favor of sensible sneakers: “M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous,” he groused. “Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them.”
So Tucker Carlson does want to have a drink with an M&M? Or did before they underwent a wardrobe change?
I can see it now – the dim lighting, the groups of friends, the couples, the cigarette smoke, the bowls of peanuts, and Tucker Carlson at a table in the corner with…an M&M.
This vigorous rebuttal to the wokefication of sweets didn’t end there — [when] in a 2015 promotional image she was depicted with her hand on the brown M&M’s knee, Carlson worried that she “is now a lesbian, maybe?” And he decried the introduction of Purple, whom he described as “plus-sized” and “obese.” (She’s just a peanut M&M.)
So I guess he won’t be taking her to Bemelmans.
Thanks. I’ll be giggling at this image all evening. When things get too serious, I’ll think about Tucker Carlson and his sexy M&M.
Men like him aren’t bothered by the sexualization of girls on TV or anywhere else; they actively want it. They want every woman sexualized…not the obese ones, of course, or the old ones…or the peanut M&Ms…but the young women who are pretty. All other women should be kept out of sight, because they are disgusting…or maybe he thinks we shouldn’t exist at all if we’ve passed the age (or size) that stimulates men.
Tucker’s passion certainly makes me laugh like a drain.
Just like the Nazis hilariously contradict their claims to racial superiority (Goebels? Hitler?, Himmler? every single Nazi in the United States. My favorite line in the awesome Man in the High Castle series wasJohn Smith dismissing Himmler: “A mediocre man, a failed chicken farmer”
Tucker Carson claims to represent conservative Christian manhood. But come on. That weedy voice. The pathetic continuous cries of victimization and offense. That BOW TIE! Now M&Ms.
Geez. Who’s gonna tell Tucker that the California Raisins were Black?
https://64.media.tumblr.com/b7adb4e6dfb457b400ba4fbb62b7e54b/801940d047963913-72/s540x810/80d89417fa638e83b4bba0ccfaefd6de32f2f166.jpg
M&Ms lost their appeal to me when I found out I am diabetic. Maybe I’m an asexual prude but I never found them sexually appealing in the least, not even in high heels.
Actually, I don’t understand why heels are considered as sexy as they are. Is it related to hobbling so that women can’t run from their attackers? As someone who runs, I tend to find women in running shoes more attractive than those in heels. It’s hard to jog in tandem wih someone whose heels break.
Mike, it’s pretty impossible to run away from an attacker in heels, but I know some women who have used them as weapons. Not sure I’d be able to do that, but my usual footwear doesn’t have heels like that, anyway. I want to be able to walk, run, stand, or just come home without cramps in my legs.