It’s more like incelophobia, or narcissistophobia. And the weird euphemism of “dating,” when you don’t mean “date,” you mean “let me fuck you.” Personally, I don’t have sex with anybody, and I don’t have any obligation to anyone to do so.
The fundamental problem is that nobody actually believes he is a woman. That’s all there is to it. There are a lot of people who will lie to his face and say sure, of course he’s a woman. But they know that’s not true. And when they’re lesbians, they only actually want to “date” women. And when they’re straight men, they only want to “date” women. And he’s not, and nobody really believes he is, and no amount of rhetorical hectoring will change that.
And another thing, bro. You know what it’s called when you bully someone into submitting to sex they don’t want? It’s called rape. So stop.
Even if it were transphobia, the reality is everyone has a right to choose who they date. I was willing to date other races and other religions in my dating days; I was interested in people who had similar interests, not people who looked the same. I would not date religious fundamentalists or right wing nut jobs. Does that make me a bigot? Maybe…but why would you want to date someone who is bigoted against you anyway?
So, let’s say it was transphobia, and that transphobia in this and like cases was a terrible scourge that we should seek to end.
Then what? You’ve identified a group, and others who want nothing to do with them romantically or sexually. Are you going to make this hateful group comply with dating a group they detest? How does that benefit the oppressed group?
It’s like denouncing the racism of the KKK, and trying to fix it by having them date people of colour and Jewish people. I couldn’t see that going well for those people of colour or Jews. The KKK members, on the other hand, might quite like practicing their hatred in a much more personal, one to one fashion.
The logic is awful. Makes far more sense to advise trans people to only date those who are enthusiastic about the prospect, rather than doom them to trying to win over “transphobes”, one at a time.
Then what? You’ve identified a group, and others who want nothing to do with them romantically or sexually. Are you going to make this hateful group comply with dating a group they detest? How does that benefit the oppressed group?
The logic is awful. Makes far more sense to advise trans people to only date those who are enthusiastic about the prospect, rather than doom them to trying to win over “transphobes”, one at a time.
Part of it might be a mis-application of the up-until-now successful strategy of bullying, emotional blackmail, and guilt tripping that has served trans activism so well. When you’ve managed to get yourself “centered” everywhere else, I can imagine it can come as a bit of a shock to suddenly be left in the perifery.
He’s (somehow) thinking that coercion and force will work in an area where they work against what you’re trying to achieve. You can manipulate workplace codes of conduct, journalistic style guides and, if you’re lucky, even laws, to make people use your “preferred pronouns” and force them to play a role in your fantasy, with the power of an external authority willing to enforce your demands. That works within the context of captured organizations and institutions; but in private, interpersonal relations, there’s no strong-arm ally you can call upon to make people do your bidding. You’re reliant on your own charm and personality. Big Brother can’t help you in the bedroom. There’s no law that says people have to like you. They might bow, scrape and kowtow at work, call you she/her, the whole nine yards. But that doesn’t mean they have any affection or respect for you, just a desire to avoid the organizational ramifications that might ensue if they happen to misgender you, or offer too much side-eye. It might just be fear. This seeming success might fool you into thinking this deference and fear inhere in you and will give you the same power of apparent respect in your personal life outside of the workplace. But no. You can’t make someone like you. And whatever group you belong to or identify as, you can’t make someone like you. Sure, you might be trans, but you might also just be an asshole, whose sense of entitlement and narcissism would have left you out of everyone’s dating pool whatever gender you claimed to be.
And, of course, there’s this:
You know what it’s called when you bully someone into submitting to sex they don’t want? It’s called rape.*
That’s not a good look, and one that all the lipstick and head-tilt in the world won’t improve.
*Let’s look at what’s happening inside those captured institutions referred to above. Any policy that has the power to penalize anyone in some way for failure to use “preferred pronouns” is forcing compliance with and submission to, gender ideology. They’re making people lie.Whether they know it or like it, they are giving everyone under their authority a little taste of North Korea every time they punish someone for failure to call a man “she.”
It’s more like incelophobia, or narcissistophobia. And the weird euphemism of “dating,” when you don’t mean “date,” you mean “let me fuck you.” Personally, I don’t have sex with anybody, and I don’t have any obligation to anyone to do so.
The fundamental problem is that nobody actually believes he is a woman. That’s all there is to it. There are a lot of people who will lie to his face and say sure, of course he’s a woman. But they know that’s not true. And when they’re lesbians, they only actually want to “date” women. And when they’re straight men, they only want to “date” women. And he’s not, and nobody really believes he is, and no amount of rhetorical hectoring will change that.
And another thing, bro. You know what it’s called when you bully someone into submitting to sex they don’t want? It’s called rape. So stop.
Even if it were transphobia, the reality is everyone has a right to choose who they date. I was willing to date other races and other religions in my dating days; I was interested in people who had similar interests, not people who looked the same. I would not date religious fundamentalists or right wing nut jobs. Does that make me a bigot? Maybe…but why would you want to date someone who is bigoted against you anyway?
So, let’s say it was transphobia, and that transphobia in this and like cases was a terrible scourge that we should seek to end.
Then what? You’ve identified a group, and others who want nothing to do with them romantically or sexually. Are you going to make this hateful group comply with dating a group they detest? How does that benefit the oppressed group?
It’s like denouncing the racism of the KKK, and trying to fix it by having them date people of colour and Jewish people. I couldn’t see that going well for those people of colour or Jews. The KKK members, on the other hand, might quite like practicing their hatred in a much more personal, one to one fashion.
The logic is awful. Makes far more sense to advise trans people to only date those who are enthusiastic about the prospect, rather than doom them to trying to win over “transphobes”, one at a time.
Part of it might be a mis-application of the up-until-now successful strategy of bullying, emotional blackmail, and guilt tripping that has served trans activism so well. When you’ve managed to get yourself “centered” everywhere else, I can imagine it can come as a bit of a shock to suddenly be left in the perifery.
He’s (somehow) thinking that coercion and force will work in an area where they work against what you’re trying to achieve. You can manipulate workplace codes of conduct, journalistic style guides and, if you’re lucky, even laws, to make people use your “preferred pronouns” and force them to play a role in your fantasy, with the power of an external authority willing to enforce your demands. That works within the context of captured organizations and institutions; but in private, interpersonal relations, there’s no strong-arm ally you can call upon to make people do your bidding. You’re reliant on your own charm and personality. Big Brother can’t help you in the bedroom. There’s no law that says people have to like you. They might bow, scrape and kowtow at work, call you she/her, the whole nine yards. But that doesn’t mean they have any affection or respect for you, just a desire to avoid the organizational ramifications that might ensue if they happen to misgender you, or offer too much side-eye. It might just be fear. This seeming success might fool you into thinking this deference and fear inhere in you and will give you the same power of apparent respect in your personal life outside of the workplace. But no. You can’t make someone like you. And whatever group you belong to or identify as, you can’t make someone like you. Sure, you might be trans, but you might also just be an asshole, whose sense of entitlement and narcissism would have left you out of everyone’s dating pool whatever gender you claimed to be.
And, of course, there’s this:
That’s not a good look, and one that all the lipstick and head-tilt in the world won’t improve.
*Let’s look at what’s happening inside those captured institutions referred to above. Any policy that has the power to penalize anyone in some way for failure to use “preferred pronouns” is forcing compliance with and submission to, gender ideology. They’re making people lie.Whether they know it or like it, they are giving everyone under their authority a little taste of North Korea every time they punish someone for failure to call a man “she.”
This can’t be said enough: Pronouns are Rohypnol: https://fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/