Guest post: Do you see how good it was?
Originally a comment by latsot on The women of Scotland would bring it.
A couple of videos from the day.
This one is… well, basically it’s a bunch of interviews with men. At an event called Let Women Speak. It has me in it, though :) (just in the crowd, nobody was stupid enough to try to interview me)
But this one is amazing:
And it has Spookie in it! And Lorna! And Dr Em! And Jean from Aberdeen! And the extra benefit of not having me in it!
Seriously, goosebumps with that one. These are ordinary women being absolutely brilliant. Say what you like about Kellie-Jay, nobody else could have made this happen. Nobody.
Do you see how good it was, now?
Blimey. I do see. You didn’t tell me I was going to lose it!
I’ll be watching this several times I think.
Oh, actually, you did tell me, didn’t you. Well you were right.
With surprise guest star Jean from Aberdeen.
I can hardly see the screen, but I want to thank you for putting these here. Fortunately I learned to touch-type as a teen – my Mum insisted. She told me that even if I thought then that I’d never use it, no skill is ever wasted. She didn’t foresee a time when almost all my communication would be by typing, but I’m glad she taught me.
As a disabled, chronically ill, autistic granny, many of those women spoke directly into my heart. Thank you. <3
Starting at 9 minutes in the first one is Glinner. Before him is Menno.
how excellent, especially for those who had never had the opportunity to speak and be listened to
It’s a shame Henrietta’s talk isn’t on the video, because that was a belter, too. But you can’t have everything. It’s on the livestream recording, but the sound’s a bit choppy. Worth watching, though.
Hen is quadriplegic and has cognitive difficulties including short-term memory problems. She needs intimate care daily and lives in fear of any given day’s carer being male. Because she has no feeling in much of her body, she might not even know if she’s been assaulted. She might not be able to remember it for a few days. And even if she did know and did remember, she might not be able to communicate it. But the organisations that provide care won’t guarantee a same-sex carer. Same gender, sure. Hen’s not having that. Vulnerable she certainly is, but she’s also as brave as anyone I know. She also has the largest and most comprehensive collection of wheelchair mishap gifs I’ve ever seen, which she delights in sending to me as some kind of terrible warning ;)
This is her story of her 24 hours.
https://twitter.com/hen10freeman/status/1603022204467351556
The outpouring of hatred she received for telling this story was phenomenal, even by the standards we’ve come to expect. She speaks about a stranger entering her home when she’s alone and completely helpless and of wanting that person to be a woman…. and she receives torrents of abuse for it. I’d have expected Sturgeonistic thrashing and equivocation, but abuse? It’s hard to think of anyone in a more vulnerable position, but she’s to be denied safety, dignity and speech in service of an already unspeakably cruel ideology.
Here’s the brilliant Dr Em reading a slightly different version of Hen’s speech at a somewhat less well-attended Let Women Speak event, which appears to be in the middle of a muddy field.
https://twitter.com/latsot/status/1620324052752801792
Here’s Hen’s script for her speech on Sunday. Lorna embellished it a bit when she read it out because of course she did; she’s an ex teacher. Couldn’t help herself ;) But she did a brilliant job.
—
I’m Henrietta Freeman and I tweet about the impact of gender ideology on disabled women and girls. I’m a complete quadriplegic with cognitive impairments including lack of short term memory and speech difficulties. I was paralysed from the neck down and had no speech. I know vulnerability. I need intimate care 24/7 and I only want a woman to do it. This is personal to me as a survivor. When a disabled women or girl who is a survivor of male violence/abuse, have intimate care, it can be a reminder of their trauma. They don’t have the luxury to step away and deal with their trauma because they still need intimate care. There is no identifying out.
In England and Wales; disabled women and girls are nearly twice as likely to be sexually assaulted and more likely to be raped, than able-bodied women. Abuse is underreported due to communication or comprehension difficulties. Women receiving care are 3 times more likely to be victims of assault than men. Men are 4 times more likely to be the perpetrator. 1,000 allegations of sexual assault/incidents were reported to Care Quality Commission (CQC) in 3 months in 2018, including 47 rapes. It is difficult to find statistics for Scotland.
Why then do care agencies think it’s acceptable to send men to women who want same-sex care? It’s acceptable to them because the majority of care agencies have switched from ‘same-sex’ to ‘same-gender’ care policies. Many disabled women, girls and their families have no idea of these stealth changes. CQC must get out of Stonewall.
If a man, including a TIM, was sent to do my same-sex care, they let themselves into my house and I would be in bed. If he assaulted me I wouldn’t remember until days after, too late to get medical treatment. I can’t feel anything from my breasts down so he could touch me with me unaware. You can understand why women like me are picky over who cares for us.
Same-sex care is a safeguard against abuse of vulnerable woman and girls in society. It is about privacy, dignity and safety. Men’s feelings are irrelevant. Disabled women & girls have lost control of much of our lives due to our disabilities. The remaining control must be the choice of who touches us. If we can’t communicate this, it needs to be same-sex as standard. This also affects disabled girls in schools, disabled girls in care homes and disabled women in assisted living who need carers. There is no relative there to keep an eye on what is happening.
When I speak out I face abuse. I ignore it. This is too important of an issue to remain silent. Those who can speak out must as there are women and girls who can’t. I will never stop speaking out, there is too much at stake. Same-sex care has been destroyed in England and the situation is even more precarious now in Scotland. We must protect our disabled women and girls.
LET WOMEN SPEAK
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I’m in a Twitter group with Hen and a dozen or so other disabled women. They all share this fear, even those who don’t yet need intimate care yet. Some tell me that they wouldn’t even want their partners to provide intimate care and I can well understand it. Yet they’d be expected to accept strange men to do it instead. Two of those women have told me that TIMs have turned up to provide care for them and when they refused it, the provider punished them by withholding the service for a couple of weeks. Punished them because they didn’t want to be humiliated and potentially assaulted by a stranger. Punished them by forcing them to arrange alternative care by friends or family members or… well, the alternative is too grim to even think about.
This is why I’m constantly so furious at our political leaders and other prominent, influential people who promote gender identity ideology. TWAW sounds cosy until you consider disabled women or women in prison or detransitioners or abused children or…. well, practically anyone other than heterosexual males with a fetish. And whenever those prominent, self-absorbed cowards say trans women are women, they’re saying trans rapists are women. And trans abusers are women. Don’t tell me they don’t know this. Don’t tell me that Nicola Sturgeon didn’t know, when she legislated that trans women are women, that it would allow rapists into women’s prisons and vulnerable women’s homes. Don’t tell me that ‘national treasures’ like Stephen Fry don’t know this. He’s a fairly smart guy, of course he knows. He and the others just don’t particularly care.
And yet, at the weekend I heard yet another completely heart-warming story about genuine national treasure JK Rowling. And there were ‘protesters’ in Glasgow with signs full of abuse aimed specifically at her.
I’m ranting to the choir, I know. But worrying about Hen and women like her keeps me awake at night. It should keep us all awake.
Thank you for Henrietta’s speech, latsot. It is a belter indeed. How dare Stonewall tell lies to the care sector about their obligations towards men who claim to be women. How dare the agencies send men to care for women who don’t want them, or who can’t express a preference.
FORTY-SEVEN RAPES OF VULNERABLE WOMEN IN THREE MONTHS?!
A THOUSAND ASSAULTS?!
And they’re still insisting that predatory men don’t go to great efforts, INCLUDING LYING ABOUT THEIR SEX to get themselves into positions of power over women and children?!
It’s utterly shameful that anyone could ever go along with the lies. I’m furious on behalf of those women and children and ashamed that I was ever taken in.
Hen first posted her timeline a couple of weeks after the stats for assaults on disabled women first came to light. Everyone pretended to be shocked and concerned for about twenty minutes, then started hurling abuse at Hen for bringing it up in the context of the gender people.
latsot @#8:
One of the best posts I have ever seen on this remarkable B and W site, in all the years I have been around here. Well done.
( I used to post here under a different nom de blog.)
Really moving to see and hear these women speaking their truth and baring their souls…then going to Kellie-Jay for a supportive hug. She’s there for them emotionally as well as physically and logistically. And not only that but just seeing the women in the audience cheering and supporting and just being with these women who need to speak.