Fluttereyes
The small but meaningful flare of rage at this…
I’ve never “fluttered my eyes” in my life, nor do I give any “slow, warm smile.” I don’t manipulate, I don’t play coy, I don’t pretend to be adorable or tiny or bashful or cute or kittenish or feeble or dim or helpless or half-witted. I don’t and I never have, even when barely hatched. I despise this kind of thing and it makes me want to vomit to see men pretending to be women and resurrecting all that stupid bullshit. Just stop.
I don’t think I’d know how to flutter my eyes. And a slow, warm smile? Do I know any women that do this? Let me think…thinking….thinking….thinking…
Okay, so you watch certain types of TV or movies, that might be what you see (I can’t say; I don’t watch that kind of TV or movies). Did they get all their information on women from drag shows?
And Eryn Spencer looks about as much like a woman as I look like an otter.
What’s the “guy nod”? I mean, I’m a guy and sometimes I nod, but I’ve never really thought of it as a guy thing. I’m pretty sure most of the women I know nod too (though honestly I’ve never consciously tried to observe it).
What indeed? A figment of the imagination, I’m guessing, or maybe it’s wisdom gleaned from watching movies. Maybe it’s something Sean Connery does in James Bond mode. Yer silent lanky cowboy/military types. Maybe a million wannabe actors have practiced their nods in the mirror only to end up as accountants.
Same with women and the “slow, warm smile,” as iknklast pointed out. This is all stupid movie tropes, it’s nothing to do with real life. In fact that’s the whole thing – people grow up with these images of How to Woman/Man implanted in their brains, and some such people think they’re real, and try to mimic them. Sad.
Well if you’re going to look superficial, you might as well act that way. They’re embracing their “true selves.”
Along with the nod, there’s also the chin thrown back, as demonstrated by this person who we saw not long ago >> https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/logan-brown-interview-2023 Because all men throw their chin back like that, the swaggering lot of them.
Perhaps the “chin throw back” is the TiF version of the TiM “head tilt”. The former gives the illusion of greateer height by haughtily looking down on everyone and everything, while the latter simulates smaller stature through demure coquettishness. These might not be only TV/movie trope but also fashion photography tropes too.
And selfie tropes, yes, true. Selfies have a LOT to answer for.
Doesn’t the term “selfie” just say it all?
I feel like looking at male and female chimpanzee behaviour would be a lot more informative to those wishing to emulate the opposite sex…
I’m guessing the “guy nod” is when you walk by someone and acknowledge their presence by doing a quick nod (and optionally saying “hey”). It’s a very minimal greeting. Certainly not exclusive to men but I’d agree probably done more by men than women, at least where I live. Women tend to more say “hi, [name]”, maybe make eye contact a little longer, and maybe smile. I haven’t noticed any fluttering. Or the optional smile being slowly revealed. And lots of women do the nod thing instead. And, yes, they manage to stay women somehow.
Interesting. I’m trying to imagine doing that, and failing. It’s funny because I have actually thought quite a bit about the passing people issue. I used to find it annoying when people passing said hi when I wasn’t looking at them, which I generally wasn’t. But I’ve changed. Mellowed? I don’t know. I look at people more, which means I engage more with the greeting/acknowledgement issue. I quite like saying hi or smiling. I can’t really fit nodding into that – it seems sort of worst of both worlds. You’re not oblivious and lost in your own thoughts, and you’re not being friendly either. Seems like a nothingburger.
But then there’s women and uptalking. I’ve just been listening to the BBC and two American women on two different shoes were chronic uptalkers. They made me cringe. Men don’t do that! Women should stop! It sounds so apologetic and weak and awful.
Rant over for the moment.
I was swaggering down the street once with my chin high when I suddenly had to do the guy nod. Was in a neck brace for months.
I’m a ‘guy nod’ person. It’s a quick truncated nod, maybe accompanied by a quick flash of grin, eyebrow raise, or muttered ‘hi’ as circumstances, body language, closing speed and range, breathlessness permit. Never I might add using all the options at once because that would be silly, even amongst close friends. I don’t want to parody Monty Python or the Two Ronnies FFS. It’s also 100% dependent on making eye contact an receiving some indefinable signal of openness to acknowledgement. otherwise it would be silly and intrusive. Acknowledging other walkers or neighbours who are out and about does add to the general sense of connected community I find. Doesn’t need to be everyone every time though.
It’s all scientifically explained here:
https://youtu.be/OD-n4CRgSuE
Although I personally always down nod. Nobody’s ripping my throat out!
I don’t personally see it as a nothingburger. It’s a quick way to acknowledge someone. That’s all most greetings are anyway.
LOL, that was funny. On reflection I think I use a mix of up and down nod, but much more abbreviated in both movement and duration that the ‘tear my throat out’ examples.
I might add, going back to the start of all this, that the only times I have EVER seen a woman flutter her eyes in real life has been to mock, be sarcastic, parody or generally ridicule something a close and trusted male friend has said or done. Always to ensuing hilarity from all albeit sometimes self-mocking chagrin from the target. Always a good natured but pointed rejection of some stereotype of womanly behaviour or supposed defencelessness. In short, don’t believe TV romcoms.
I think why I think a nod is a nothingburger is that I think an acknowledgement is a nothingburger. It’s kind of pointless. “I see that you are there.” So? Who cares? It seems pointless unless there’s some small hint of friendliness. I used to think it was a bit silly to be friendly to strangers just because you’re both out for a walk, but now I don’t. A quick smile conveys something to me; a nod wouldn’t. It’s interesting if this really is a female/male difference.
I don’t often meet strangers out for a walk; almost no one walks in this town. I occasionally meet a kid on a bike, and say hi. The ones next door know my name (my dog keeps getting out and going over there to play with the kids) and we might exchange pleasantries. Other than that, I don’t have to worry about it.
But when I am inside, like at the grocery store, I nod. Mostly because I am wearing a mask. If I know them, I say hi and we might speak for a moment, depending on how much of a hurry we’re in. But the mask has quite a bit changed my habits, because a smile can’t be seen through it.
Oh that’s sad. Walkers are all over the place here. Sometimes too much so for my taste, in the sense that I’d like to look at just the scenery for a minute, but mostly it just seems normal.
I recall in early 2020 there were a lot of people out walking (since there wasn’t much of anything else to do). Medical advice was to keep a 2m distance (masks were not yet recommended). So if one was walking around on sidewalks and pathways one would need to move aside when passing. I’ve never been one to be friendly to strangers, but I somehow felt inclined to counteract the unfriendliness of the physical avoidance with a much more effusive greeting then I would have been accustomed to using.
Heh. The way I reacted to that was pretty much the opposite – a surge in hostility. Everybody else out there was interfering with MY ability to be out there. Me first everyone else nowhere. I was well aware of how ludicrous that was but awareness didn’t make a dent in the feeling.
(I may be exaggerating a little. When I think harder I think what I remember is anger at people who didn’t do any swerving, as in: “I’m swerving and YOU HAVE TO SWERVE TOO. RECIPROCAL SWERVING BUDDY.”)
I agree about being annoyed at people who seemed to think it was not their problem to swerve, even in response to the swerve of the approaching walker. (I have seen this on hiking trails as well – most of the time there is a reasonable negotiation to avoid making others walk through the poison ivy, but some people seem to think they (or worse, their group) are the only people of any importance.)
Seriously. And don’t get me started on the young guy on the bus yesterday who was sitting in one of the front seats that have big signs saying these seats are for elderly and handicapped riders and went on sitting while an elderly man with a walker struggled on and struggled to find a seat farther down and had to take an aisle seat with his walker in the aisle. A standing rider pointed out FRONT SEATS FOR ELDERLY N HANDICAPPED and this guy gave him grief. Then he got off the bus when I did and waited for another bus alongside me and then jostled me aside so that he could get on that bus first. The bus driver was not impressed.