Age not relevant?
Well it’s none of my business but the Guardian saw fit to publish an article about it so I guess that makes it everyone’s business.
Jon Snow ‘at complete ease’ with becoming a father again in his 70s
The broadcaster, 75, and his wife, the academic Precious Lunga, 48, welcomed a baby boy via a surrogate in March 2021 after struggling with “medical setbacks and miscarriages”.
“Via a surrogate”=a different woman did the work of gestation and pushing out.
Snow elaborated:
“I haven’t found age relevant to my relationship with my son or grandsons. Is being a grandad different to being a dad? Not really. In the end, it’s all love, isn’t it?”
Yes but that’s not the issue. The issue is that the kid will have less time with his father than most children do. The issue is that there’s a bigger than usual risk that the kid will lose his father in childhood. Maybe not an altogether kind thing to do?
Also, while he may be able to love the kid just as much as if he were younger, there will be a whole raft of experiences and physical things that he will not be able to do. Kids need that with their parents as well as love. One of my cousins was born to parents old enough to be grandparents. He hardly ever saw his father by the time he was 12, let alone all the experiences you’d hope to bank away.
i remember thinking that when Tony Randall was on Johnny Carson talking about how wonderful it was to be a new dad again at 74. “Wonderful for you, not so much for the kid.”
And yet the Guardian didn’t even mention that aspect. It’s odd, isn’t it.
Jon Snow – winter’s coming
Come on – you were all thinking it.
Yeah, it’s not fun for the kid. When I was a young teenager, I became friends with a kid whose father was in his late 70’s. It always felt vaguely uncomfortable, and I know that my friend felt like he stood out–pretty much the last thing a teenager wants to feel.
One of my kids’ friends had a father who was significantly older than her mother, and who, like Snow, had been in a previous long-term marriage and had older kids. The friend was a great-aunt as a child (that is, she had a half-sister who became a grandmother). It was a little freaky.
@James, it’s unlikely this kid will have to stand out in that particular way as a teenager.
I think he is very wrong that being a grandfather is not much different from being a father. A grandfather is usually around for the fun things, and then the kid goes home.
I have never been a grandfather (and never will be; I am not even a grandmother and happy that way), but I can tell you, having a kid now would be too much for my husband, who will be 70 this year. It would be too much for me, and I have 8 more years until I’m 70. Kids need parents who can handle them.
In his case, maybe it won’t be a problem. Maybe he’ll leave it all on his younger wife. Maybe he’ll hire someone to do the work for him. Neither of those situations is positive for the kid, and the first isn’t positive for the wife either.
There are possibly a few cases where grandfathers are highly involved in the lives of their grandchildren, but I doubt that’s very common. I never had a grandfather; my kids had grandfathers they saw a few times a year; I’m a grandfather, and I’ll be lucky to see my grandchildren once a year. People don’t live the same way as they used to. Not being present for the day-to-day is a huge difference.