To an auntie
Yeah. Women are either fuckable or My Auntie, i.e. old boring stupid wrong female woman.
She only wrote the thing that is the only reason anyone has ever heard of Rupert Grint let alone gives a shit what he thinks of her. Ungrateful misogynist little toad.
Dear Mr. Grint,
You are, as Ophelia has put it so eloquently, an ungrateful misogynist little toad. May you be type-cast in all the future roles offered to you, as a moronic arse.
Yours,
Women.
I haven’t read the article, but just based on what I’m seeing here, I’m going to call this support.
1.) “I can still like and admire people I disagree with on trans issues.” Sorry, but THIS IS HUGE. It’s especially so coming from someone on the TRA side. It demonstrates a sense of proportion as well as the open-minded capacity to recognize that the arguments on the other side have enough merit that it’s safe to assume those who accept them weren’t just haters trying destroy trans people’s live. Given that this attitude can now be adopted by the Harry Potter fan base without bucking ALL the main actors, it’s a very positive move.
2.) “I liken JK Rowling to an older female member of my family.” And so he would, given he’s known her since he was a young child and she’s old enough to be his mum. WTF is all this about misogyny and ageism? He said “auntie” — should he have said “Wise Woman of the Mountain?” He was emphasizing the familial closeness of the relationship. People are reading way, way too much into this.
I don’t think so. I don’t think it would occur to him to compare an older man he disagrees with to an uncle. (Nor are uncles called “unclies.”) I think it’s part of the broad pattern of belittling women as a way to manage them, if only in one’s own thoughts. Opinions in men are taken for granted, opinions in women are something to explain away or compare to something or otherwise deal with.
@Ophelia;
If the underlying thought or message though was “we (the Harry Potter film crowd) are a family” I’d not be surprised to hear him refer to Alan Rickman or David Yates as his Uncle or “Unk.” Had Grint called Rowling his “dottie old auntie” or “racist uncle at the dinner table” I’d see it as contributing to the pattern. As it is, if hearing the affectionate term “auntie” from a youth in a close relationship to an older woman automatically makes someone assume it’s meant to be belittling or insulting, the pattern may be influencing the hearer’s interpretation, rather than the speaker’s intention.
The overwrought fury directed at Rowling has been so intense that I’m guessing Rupert Grint thought long and hard about how to navigate what is likely his continued admiration through trans waters. He chose a family metaphor. His two co-stars, on the other hand, have been at pains to condemn her, and fall all over themselves affirming TWAW. Credit then where credit is due. The perfect is the enemy of the good.
The stereotypical “uncle” is the loudmouth, racist nutjob one is compelled to put up with once a year at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. “Aunties” are more likely to be the dotty old cat lady, who can be humoured and ignored.
Couldn’t be bothered to read the article, but it would have been interesting to have seen Grint pressed on exactly what he thought was wrong with what JKR actually said. Not what he was told she said as interpreted by his publicist or agent, but what he’d actually found objectionable in her own words. They never do; they never can. Her crimes were: to defend Maya Forstater’s right to believe in the reality of sex; to use her own experience of violence at the hands of a man to show the need for women only spaces, and to highlight the erasure of the word “woman” in the public communications of agencies and institutions that should have known better. That her efforts to highlight the rights and safety of women was deemed “transphobic” put the lie to the claims of trans activists that there is no conflict between women’s rights and so-called trans “rights.” The vicious backlash against her honest, forthright, and heartfelt defence of the rights, safety, and well-being of women and girls laid bare the basic dishonesty and deviousness of genderists in a way that could not be ignored. Their over-reaction became an own goal that could not be ignored. That was her greatest sin. She barely mentioned trans identified males in her comments; when she did it was with sympathy and compassion. But defending women and girls, to the exclusion of males who claim to be women and girls, was intolerable and unforgiveable.
So where does Grint stand in all this? Mostly I don’t care, but it would be refreshing if any of the three lead actors who were so quick to denounce Rowling were ever to engage honestly Rowling’s actual position, rather than bluster, and posture against third-hand strawman versions of it, conveyed to them by craven toadies, afraid of the consequences of “controversy” to their own jobs.
It might be a cultural difference – but I don’t find it unusual to think that Grint might refer to a similar male figure as “uncle”. Its pretty normal in South Africa, and signifies a degree of respect and affection. From my understanding, that sort of thing actually crops up regularly in a lot of cultures.
South Africa is a highly multicultural society where there are elements of etiquette which oppose each other. Smiling can be taken as friendliness or being overly familiar, for a fair chunk of the population “how are you” is the standard greeting etc…
My mother is English, she hates being called “Mama” – yet the people calling her that have that as part of a cultural deference to elders. She stopped objecting as much when people started calling her “Gogo” – or “Grandma”.
A lot of things that are rude in one culture can be downright mandated in another.
And that’s something that is lost in online conversation – the understanding that we actually aren’t all coming at this from precisely the same place, which can produce situations like this where it feels a bit like a reach to take offense at what Grint is saying.
I get that it is part of a previous pattern, but I think Sastra is right in that it might signify softening his position, rather than any real disrespect, but then again, he’s from a different cultural background and it could be meant differently to how I’d mean it if I said it.
I could be being overly charitable in my way of looking at it, but erring on the side of charity strikes me as being the better approach here.
I can recall distinctly one man who I called “uncle” who was not a relative at all, he was just a family friend. I have known other people who called various men “uncle” who were not relatives. I haven’t had any non-relative “aunt” figures, but I’m pretty sure I’ve known other people who did; the conversation seems familiar. “Oh, she’s not really my aunt, she’s my mom’s best friend from way back and she helped raise me.” I don’t think I had any women called “auntie” in my life, but others I know did, and “Auntie Em” in The Wizard of Oz” was a respected female adult. I don’t personally call people “aunt” or “uncle” without a name, but others do, and sometimes use “auntie” or “unk”. It’s affectionate, not derogatory, in my view. It’s a way of saying that someone is like family without actually being family.
So, I’ll agree with Bruce and Sastra that this seems like a softening, “JKR is a good person who has done good and kind things for me, and I just happen to disagree with her about this one thing.”
Well, ok, I’ll agree it could have been worse, I guess, but to me it still reads as patronizing even if also semi-affectionate. “She’s an old dear and I’m still fond of her even though she’s wrong.”
Still patronizing and still ungrateful, since she made him a lot richer than he would otherwise be.
I read the “article” again and there is no context, it’s just a string of pull-quotes without context – a rather odd sort of article. The only additional context is another sentence: “It’s a tricky one.” It’s actually not tricky if you address what she said as opposed to how the fanatics reacted to what she said.
I do see ophelia’s point, but in this specific context it felt like more of an affectionate use, and therefore surprising given his previous repudiation of JKR.
In NZ, especially amongst Maori, Aunties is a term used to refer to adult, usually older females who are the ‘doers’ in the community. The term conveys affectionate respect for their mana, which comes from the work they do promoting social good, cohesion, sorting out bad behaviour, getting assistance to those who need it, prodding people to do the right thing, and generally getting shit done.
Although not Maori, it reminds me of one of my aunts who was a lovely caring person and very practical with it. While my uncle and the other older men from their church would be meeting to discuss the Very Important Meaning of bible verses, Aunty Helen and the other wives were out organising meals for those in need, taking people to health or hospital visits (rural area), raising money for various charities etc. In other words getting shit done. All without bothering the menfolk and their Very Important Discussions.