Guest post: “Confined to”
Originally a comment by tigger_the_wing on Don’t you call me a basket case.
As a crippled old women who isn’t confined to a wheelchair, but uses one if I have to walk more than a few steps (because I prefer to avoid unbearable pain and nasty falls), and who spends most of the rest of my time in bed (because, until I get a better wheelchair, it’s the only place where I can recline and raise my legs), I find the ‘confined to’ phrase ludicrous. Since I can transfer from my bed to my wheelchair, and back; and from my wheelchair to and from the toilet, the shower, and my vehicle, I don’t regard myself as ‘confined to’ anything.
It’s just wheelchairs and beds which get that weird description.
I have never been described as being ‘confined to’ my reading glasses, or my sticks. Are people with hearing difficulties ever described as being ‘confined to’ their hearing aids?
I was ‘confined to’ home for fourteen months by the CoViD pandemic, until I was vaccinated. I’ll accept that usage, because I was unable to leave. But all other tools are just that; tools. We use tools in order to be able to do things which able-bodied people can do unaided. That doesn’t mean that we’re ‘confined to’ them!
Yes, there are people who have to use their wheelchair whenever they are out if bed, and cannot get out to stand, even briefly. They likely (although not necessarily) need help with transferring to a toilet. But they get into bed when it’s time to go to sleep.
That said, I don’t have a problem with people who use that phrase. It’s been around for a very long time, and few people have had any reason to reflect on it. I also understand that many people have a problem with the word ‘cripple’, although I don’t.
I only have a problem with words which are said in a way which is intended to hurt. I’ll only nitpick phrases when it’s important for clarity. If I hear a shop assistant asking a colleague to help ‘the lady confined to a wheelchair’ I won’t be bothered. Far too many people grew up with that being the only way to describe a wheelchair user, and have never heard any other way to say it. It’s almost a single word, confinedtoawheelchair.
Would people really be more likely to say “the lady confined to a wheelchair” rather than “the lady in/with the wheelchair” though? Seems oddly convoluted.
Piglet, it does seem clumsy, put like that. On reflection, I believe that what I’ve actually heard is more like “There’s a lady confinedtoawheelchair who needs assistance. Please go and help””; as I said at the end, it’s been common usage for so long that it seems to have become a single word used to describe any wheelchair user and no-one saying it is thinking at all about the literal meaning.
It may have become that way because of the British press, who seem to have a peculiar way to describe people that isn’t the way normal people actually speak. But, since encountering people in wheelchairs still isn’t a common experience, still less needing to refer to one, it’s likely to be the only phrase anyone can think of immediately when fishing in their memory for something to say.
Have you noticed that no-one seems to be able to describe a man pretending to be a woman without using the phrase ‘stunning and brave’? Stunningandbrave. It’s what people read, and so it’s what they repeat.
Cancer patients are always ‘battling’ the disease.
Children with a disability are always ‘plucky’.
Children who have friends with a disability are ‘kind’, as if it’s an unusual virtue between friends. Oh, and it’s never used to describe the disabled friend, only the able-bodied one(s). As if disabled children are on a par with pets, not other children. No newspaper has ever printed ‘Joe is kind to Jack, who is confined to a wheelchair, and Jack is kind to Joe, who is confined to his legs.
I’m currently contemplating getting a motorized wheelchair specifically so I won’t be confined from the places I want to go.
I think the disabled are pretty likely to look at where they are now and imagine it without the cane, the wheelchair, or the bed set up so it’s convenient. It used to be better, but it could be worse.
Sastra, if you can get one, do! It has been life changing for me. I started with sticks, then got a rollator, then a series of manual wheelchairs. When I could no longer propel myself outside, I got a little electric mobility scooter.
But, tiny as it was, it was too big for using inside the house and eventually even our wheelchair-friendly home was too exhausting to navigate in the manual wheelchair.
I replaced the scooter with a pre-owned, one year old, Foldawheel. It’s been great over the last three years! It’s small enough to go everywhere indoors, and powerful enough to go most places outside.
The advantages are:
No need to expend energy moving around, or subject my arms and legs to strain and pain.
Light, easy to fold, can be carried by any able-bodied person and fits into a very small car. We’ve carried it in the boots of my daughter’s car and our Galaxy with all seven seats in use, and still had room for shopping. It has also travelled on a car seat, with a seat belt around it.
It’s small enough to use inside the caravan.
The drawbacks are:
Rear wheel drive; the caster wheels aren’t under direct control, unlike the front wheels of the scooter, and so the wheelchair becomes unstable and very difficult to control on uneven ground and slopes. Not a problem if you only use it at home and in shopping centres.
Fixed seat position; after an hour, even with extra cushions (special ones supplied by the HSE to prevent sores) and an orthopaedic back support, I’m in a lot of pain and have to find somewhere to lie down.
So I’m looking to replace it with a mid-wheel drive wheelchair, probably the Quickie Q300M, with a tilt-in-place seat with elevating footrests. On the wishlist, although not vital, is an elevating seat so that I can get things from shelves without risking a fall by standing. I can’t possibly afford a new one; but, fortunately, when we were in England this time, we discovered that there are a lot of businesses selling nearly new, reconditioned wheelchairs of the kind I need at a quarter of the new retail price. We had no room to get one there and then, but we’re planning to go back in Spring, when my adapted Citroën Relay with a wheelchair lift will be ready.
Watch this space, as they say!
I forgot to indicate any timeline. I started using walking sticks (canes) in my early twenties. I had to use a wheelchair for a couple of years in my thirties, then I had a remission for several years. I was back to using sticks in my late forties, and then there was a rapid decline in mobility in my early fifties. From sticks to rollator to wheelchair only took five years, although I put off each progression in aids for far too long each time.
You’re right, it’s that weird newspaper argot again. Hardworkingfamilies is another.
Or just working families. It’s short for workers and their families, but it’s so ridiculous.