Daisies & stars & smirks
Sackbut pointed out this cloying image:
Naaaaaaaaah.
That’s just the old self-esteem movement updated for even more solipsistic times.
No, parents shouldn’t treat their children like gods. No, parents shouldn’t be constantly wooing their children like lovers. No, parents shouldn’t be training their children to think they’re miraculous and supernatural. Unconditional love, yes; an infinite stream of flattery, no.
And this “become yourself” shit needs to die. As I keep saying to the point of monotony, the cult of the self needs to die. Encourage children to have a spine, think critically, resist peer pressure when necessary, all that, but obsess over a special unique magical Self, no.
Repeating myself from the Miscellany Room…
You really wonder if the person who wrote this made the slightest attempt to imagine how it would play out in real life, with real kids.
“Who you already are is a drug user.”
“Who you already are is a girl being groomed by the creepy dude next door.”
“Who you already are is a kid who gets drunk at parties and drives too fast.”
“Who you already are is a gun fetishist with a grudge.”
“The more deeply I know you, the more beautiful you become to me.” Parent of the year, that one! Even “good kids” need guidance, and boundaries!
Even if this were only intended to apply in the narrow field of a kid’s sense of gender identity, I would think that if “who you are” includes being deeply unhappy with one’s body, it would be more compassionate to try to alleviate the root of the problem than to play along with a child’s delusion.
And as I noted there, I wonder how they would feel if their kid comes out as a gender-critical feminist?
Funny, Popehat had a very similar themed thread just yesterday…
I’m childless, but have a wide circle of friends who have children. I’ve had the opportunity to observe these kids grow from infants to adults. I’ve been able to observe them at their own homes, my home, other friends homes, communal camping trips, etc etc. Boundaries and expectations not only make for a more pleasant childhood experience for everyone, but have a better hit rate at producing successful, thoughtful, and aware adults than the alternative of endless validation or feral abandonment. I certainly know which young adults I prefer to be around and which ones are in the process of becoming friends, not just ‘kids of friends’.
Maybe it’s the Christmas season coming upon us, but I foresee:
“Mom, who I am, is a champion gamer.”
(Buys expensive gaming system.)
“Mom, who I really am, is a skier.”
(Buys expensive skis & trip to Aspen.)
“Mom, who I really am, is a pianist.”
(Buys piano and lessons.)
Mom, who I really am, is a Ninja.”
( Buys Ninja outfit & nunchucks; buys expensive repairs for expensive living room.)
And that was just 2022. Time to celebrate who they are in ‘23!
You’re on fire today, O. It’s glorious.
A dear friend of mine once attended a parenting class wherein the instructor told the students never to say “No” to their children.