M&Ms
They just can’t get it right.
“Misandry” ffs. Have they been hanging out on shock jock Twitter or what? Women get killed by abusive husbands or partners. Women get raped with impunity because the rates of arrest are abysmal, of prosecution worse, of conviction worse again. Women get bullied and assaulted, women have their sports and prizes taken away, women are told to obey or be punished. “Misandry” is not a thing and men are not at risk from women, with very very few exceptions. West Yorkshire Police have had grooming gangs under their noses for years, but here they are whining about non-existent “misandry.” It’s embarrassing.
Fuckin’ hell… I just compared the TRA ‘homosexuality is transphobia’ argument to incel logic, and now they come out whining about misandry? Pathetic.
I feel like I’m going Skeleton but misandry is a thing, it’s just that it’s pretty much all micro aggressions and mostly from men. Definitely not worth the time of law enforcement.
This. Very much this. I ran across some dude on twitter bemoaning the “misandry of some radfems” the other day, and I actually guffawed. As in, out loud. And then responded to him exactly this, that “misandry is not a thing; get over yourself”.
Not once in my life have I feared walking in the dark, alone, down a side street or through an empty car garage or along a country lane or anywhere*. At least, not feared women, and only rarely have I feared men on some occasions. That’s not a universal male experience in the USA, but it’s certainly a common one. I wonder if mister twitter “misandry” to whom I snarked thinks that this common experience is shared by our sisters, since he seemed to think that expressions of fear represented hate of men. It’s not “misandry” to fear men in general, if one is a woman or girl; simple and readily available government statistics bear out that frightening truth. By all rights, I should fear other men, since most homicides in general are committed by men, so most murdered men are killed by other men. If I did, I wonder if my twitter interlocutor would call ME a “misandrist”.
*Attacks by feral rabid bigfoots airdropped in by UFO’s into the woods notwithstanding
A young friend of mine who has always considered himself a feminist, but recently told me how startled and troubled he was to discover all the things his female friends did when they left the office at night. Like checking the back seat. Looking under the car. Not going out alone. Etc etc. He admitted he knew women faced issues, but had no idea that affected our daily lives.
Yeah, I suspect many men do think that their experience is the same women have. It’s like the difficulty white people (full disclosure: I are one) have trying to come to grips with the reality of living in black skin and dealing with the every day threats, both large and small. Men haven’t experienced living in a woman’s skin, and many have trouble visualizing it in anything more than an intellectual way.
I also suspect this is why trans identified males think they have it so bad. They are entitled assholes used to being entitled assholes and when they “come out” as a “woman” they are met with hostility they assume is unique to them. Because they never noticed it happening to women. It was below the level of their eyes, so to speak.
That’s not misandry. The grief men get from other men is toxic masculinity, attempting to enforce the worst aspects of society’s definition of ‘manly’ behavior. It’s a thing, and it’s a thing that would, tangentially, be wiped out by the success of the feminist movement.
But it ain’t ‘misandry’.
Would gender-based “misandry incidents” qualify (e.g. non-binaries hating on a trans man) ?
‘I also suspect this is why trans identified males think they have it so bad. They are entitled assholes used to being entitled assholes and when they “come out” as a “woman” they are met with hostility they assume is unique to them. Because they never noticed it happening to women. It was below the level of their eyes, so to speak.’
That was my initial opinion, way back in the day before gender ideology took over. I’m a lot less charitable now.
Ah, misandry. This is of course going to lead to wasted police time, but I hope the officers themselves will quickly realise this when the complaints of misandry come rolling in. Virtually all of them will come from MRA / incel dickheads complaining about being laughed at by women, or told to fuck off by women, whenever they argue their stupid MRA points. “All I said was men should not be held responsible for children just because the condom broke, and then everyone called me names! MISANDRY!”
What bothers me a touch more is the use of gender in place of sex. MisANDRy and misoGYNy refer to the sexes, but this use of gender is probably going to be perceived by the pronoun people as a green light to report people for using normal (as opposed to custom) pronouns and the like.
I, too, was far more charitable in days past, but I, too, have tired of the bullshit and I often just react with scorn now.
“Misandry” probably is a thing, but not on the same scale as misogyny and not the sort of thing the police are likely to get involved with. I’m picturing a woman who really does hate men (not a straw man “feminist”) having enough power to fire someone, refuse service, or otherwise create hardship strictly because that someone is male. It’s not systemic; it’s not contributing to social marginalization or stigma against a group; it’s not life-or-body threatening. It’s probably a lawsuit.
And I agree with Holms regarding yet another instance of the casual conflation of sex and gender. It’s going from “my gender doesn’t match my sex” to “my sex and gender match, chromosomes don’t matter and stop being so interested in my genitals, it’s creepy.” Nobody should be contributing to that.
But if it’s not systemic and not contributing to social marginalization or stigma against a group then it’s not misandry. Misogyny (and by implication misandry) is social, it is systemic and it does contribute to marginalization and stigma. It’s part of a pattern. If there’s no pattern then the word doesn’t fit.
Misandry is likely to mean different things when different people use it. I believe it exists, and I’ve encountered it. But its effect on me has been slight, as Sastra says. The idea of calling the police about it is absurd.
Few people will have encountered the variety I call PWM (parenting while male). I think this happens less now than it did a couple decades ago. PWM has become more common, and less noticed. PWM is when you get confronted at the playground because you’re the only man, and the moms want to check your bona fides for being there. Or when ladies flip flop between “isn’t it so admirable that you’re a dad actually doing some parenting” and “you’re doing parenting wrong, dumb guy.” Or when there are parent activities where you get the stinkeye when you show up. Or when there are changing tables in the ladies’ but not in the gents’. It’s noticeable the first few times it happens, but then it fades into the background. The dogs bark but the caravan passes. Man up, as they say.
But the MRAs are going to mean something different when they say misandry, as are the incels, as are the TRAs. They are inevitably going to mean something on the order of ‘you can’t exclude me on account of I’m male.’ Which, as a male, I want to say yes you can.
I’m a member of a mom’s group, but I was specifically invited. I told them that if they don’t want me to be a member because I’m a guy, that’s just fine with me. I was the first guy there, and eventually they invited more dads, and there was this whole weird thing about the name, should they change it to parents or guardians. I said it’s mostly moms, so call it a moms’ group. Say us few dads are honorary moms and if we’re not happy with that we should get over it – being pushy about changing the name would be just the kind of reason we might not be wanted there.
“Misandry” is kind of like a red flag, in a way. Its use is a signal that some guy is not getting away with something he is used to getting away with, usually being pushy or making other people do things they don’t want to.
While this is almost certainly annoying, it seems minor in relationship to the crap mothers have to put up with. “You’re doing it wrong, dumb guy” is not unique to males. Females get that every day, even from people who never had children. You’re always going to be doing it wrong in the eyes of someone else. And I do think there is a genuine reason to check the ‘bona fides’ of the only man on the playground; sort of like Schroedinger’s rapist. Men do pose a threat to women and children, though of course #NotAllMen. That’s why they check, to make sure you are not one of the threatening men.
As for women, try being a single mother. Men are treated with admiration for taking their kids. They’ve taken on a burden that isn’t really theirs, that is altruistic more than expected in the minds of many people. They are doing a tough job, trying to work and take care of children. Women don’t get that. Women are supposed to take care of the children. If they go to work to support the children, they are vilified for not being home with them, for turning them over to someone else to “raise” during the day while they work. I’ve never heard a man carped at for going to work while his children go to day care. If the woman doesn’t work, she is a “welfare queen” and needs to get her lazy ass to work to take care of those children. This increases in magnitude if the woman is not white.
And let a woman NOT have her kids following divorce! I allowed my ex to take my son when we divorced because I was ill. I saw him frequently, talked to him nearly every night on the phone, and remained involved in his life. But there was something wrong with me in the eyes of everyone else. What did I do that caused me to “lose” my son? When I explain I did not lose him, I allowed the situation without fighting, then I am an inhuman monster. No matter that his father is also his parent. No matter that I was in no position to give him much of a life until I could restore my health. No, I had allowed my son to go into some motherless hell with “someone else taking care of him.” Yeah, his father. The man who had the closest genetic relationship to him, as close as mine. A man who was a very good father while we were married (but became a shitty father once a new lover entered his life).
Yes, men have to deal with the slings and arrows, but women? We have to deal with sub-machine guns. Sometimes nuclear bombs. I am sympathetic to those men who face what Papito describes, but I challenge them to try parenting while female…or even worse, not parenting while female. Being single by choice, childless by choice. Ouch.
This mirrors the use of the word ‘racism’ by white folks who don’t want to believe that systemic racism is real, and so water it down to just mean ‘overt racial bias’, which, of course, does happen against whites in PoC, and lets them feel totally justified in saying ‘everyone is racist’.
Well, you should visit Spain, to see misandrist policies put in practice, by our coalition leftist government. Under Spanish “gender violence” laws, only violence from men to women is considered, a woman’s voice alone is enough to grant a conviction, punishment is more severe for men etc. The balance has shifted the other way around here. We’ll see how long it lasts, though, because you can’t keep unfair unconstitutional laws forever…
Unless they’re against women. Those took so long to get rid of, because men ran things.
[quote=”iknklast”]Unless they’re against women. Those took so long to get rid of, because men ran things.[/quote]
Fair enough, but that doesn´t mean we need to start a long period of time in which men are treated unfairly… the ideal should be equality, not revenge.