Melania Trump married the right guy for her.

A former friend made some tapes public.

“They say I’m complicit,” Melania Trump says of critics of her husband. “I’m the same like him, I support him. I don’t say enough, I don’t do enough where I am.

“I’m working … my ass off on the Christmas stuff, that you know, who gives a fuck about the Christmas stuff and decorations? But I need to do it, right?”

Media figures were quick to remark on the irony of the first lady questioning her role in decorating the White House for the festive season, given her husband’s eager promotion of the so-called “war on Christmas”, a rightwing saw much pushed on Fox News which says liberals want to take the joys of the holidays away.

I’m sure he’s always been entirely sincere about that.

“OK,” the first lady says, “and then I do it and I say that I’m working on Christmas and planning for the Christmas and they said, ‘Oh, what about the children that they were separated?’ Give me a fucking break. Where they were saying anything when Obama did that?”

Very true! Plus where was he born? Where is his birth certificate? How do we know he wasn’t born on Neptune?

On the tapes, the first lady also doubts claims migrants are held in poor conditions, saying: “The kids, they say, ‘Wow I will have my own bed? I will sleep on the bed? I will have a cabinet for my clothes?’ It’s so sad to hear it but they didn’t have that in their own countries, they sleep on the floor.

“They are taken care of nicely there. But you know, yeah, they are not with parents, it’s sad. But when they come here alone or with coyotes [human traffickers] or illegally, you know, you need to do something.”

She also says migrant children are coached by their parents to say they are in danger, because “they could easily stay in Mexico but they don’t want to stay in Mexico because Mexico doesn’t take care of them the same as America does”.

Erm…does Melania Trump remember that she is herself an immigrant? One who got a special visa that she wasn’t reeeeeeeally entitled to?

Melania Trump obtained US citizenship on a visa reserved for immigrants with “extraordinary ability” and “sustained national and international acclaim”, according to a report in the Washington Post.

Not seeing the extraordinary ability, I have to say.

Nicknamed the “Einstein Visa”, the EB-1 is in theory reserved for people who are highly acclaimed in their field – the government cites Pulitzer, Oscar, and Olympic winners as examples – as well as respected academic researchers and multinational executives.

Mrs Trump began applying for the visa in 2000, when she was Melania Knauss, a Slovenian model working in New York and dating Donald Trump. She was approved in 2001, one of just five people from Slovenia to win the coveted visa that year, according to the Post.

And now she’s shitting on other immigrants from a great height. What a peach.