Our role as feminists
UN Women giving away women’s rights and self-definition and reality again:
One, no, people don’t have a blanket right to identify themselves the way they want to. That’s just not true. All of us barring one person lack the right to identify ourselves as the president of the US. We can’t identify ourselves inaccurately if we’re stopped for reckless driving and have to show our driver’s license. We can’t identify ourselves as little Kathy’s mommy and take her home from school if we’re not little Kathy’s mommy. It’s just not true, yet people keep saying it. We can fantasize however we like, but once we involve other people, it’s not that simple. It’s not even close to that simple.
And two – what the fuck? Like hell it’s our role as feminists to “always be there” – it’s our role as feminists to refuse to be the sex that’s expected to “always be there.” It’s often our role as friends, mothers, daughters, sisters, employees, colleagues, comrades to be there – but as feminists? No. And always be there for men who say they “identify as” women and that therefore we have to agree that they are women? No no no no NO.
And three, same again. No that’s not our role as feminists. It may or may not be our role as other things, but not as feminists. And mostly not even as other things. Being there is one thing, accepting people for who they are is another. It depends. It depends on who, in fact, they are. There are plenty of things that people can be that motivate me not to accept them for it, because the things are bad. I don’t accept Donald Trump for who he is – I passionately furiously with disgust and contempt and fury reject Donald Trump for who he is. I’m disappointed that Jeffrey Toobin hopped onto that list the other day. Ivanka Trump’s place on it is solid.
Just stop. Stop. UN Women is for women, not women plus men who “identify as” women. Stop making new rules that mean women can’t have anything at all to themselves. Just stop.
Donald Trump identifies as a stable genius. Does UN Women accept that? I know I sure as hell don’t…and neither does Randy Rainbow.
It is our role as Black Lives Matter activists to always be there, and to make sure that people know we accept them for who we are.
It is our role as environmentalists to always be there, and to make sure that people know we accept them for who they are.
It is our role as skeptics to always be there, and to make sure that people know we accept them for who they are.
It is our role as elevator safety inspectors to always be there, and to make sure that people know we accept them for who they are.
And on and on. The only time the statement makes sense is if you insert one of the ‘helping’ professions, such as teacher or nurse, and even then not all of them (police officer, psychologist) or under all circumstances.
Or, of course, if you’re a mommy. Then it’s double plus true all the time, or shame on you.
How about this?
My wife is a feminist. I’m an asshole who bashes her when my footy team loses. She just has to accept me for who I am.
/sarc
And also make you a sammich. /facetious
Feminism that demands women act out the forms of gendered oppression is not feminism.
I’m autistic, at what point are these people accepting me for who I am?
Utter trash…
I’ve been trying to fit my response to this into a tweet for about nine hours.
“…and that’s why I think xyz.”
“No, you don’t.”
“What do you mean I don’t? Of course I do!”
“No, you don’t. I identify as you, and I don’t think xyz.”
“WTF?!! You can’t identify as me!”
“Of course I can! Anyone who Identifies as you is you. Being you doesn’t have anything to do with being born in that particular body. Oh, by the way, I need access to our bank account.”
“What kind of bullshit is this?! You’re not me! I am the conscious and subconscious mental activities of this particular brain, and you’re not part of it pal!”
“Oh, I see. One of those ‘Me-Exclusionary You’ types, are we? So how does it feel to be in the company of every despotic regime, hate group, and terrorist organization on the wrong side of the UN, Amnesty and the ACLU?”
(BTW when talking about me, you will use the pronouns “I” and “me”)
It’s my role as a feminist to tell you to get knotted if you make unreasonable demands on me.
I’m not a sodding Mommy putting up a 5 year old’s pictures with fridge magnets, and saying “how lovely, my little artist.”
As for this necessary acceptance – I just saw this excellent documentary about Count Basie. He and his band toured the American South during the Jim Crow years and so far from being accepted, could barely find a restaurant to feed them.
His quest for validation:- “Not one drop of my self-worth relies on your acceptance of me.”
I identify as Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka. I hope that this person who is speaking for me will accept me for who I am and be there for me. Part of that will be making sure that people know that I, Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, think men in lipstick are still men.