To live up to what society expects women to be
The sheer cluelessness can be jaw-dropping.
The Guardian has a piece by a trans woman about another trans woman’s voice training:
But a different voice is not just a luxury, it’s also a means of protection. For trans women, voice is often times the most significant indicator of their transness to the outside world. In 2018, LGBTQ advocates documented at least 26 homicides of trans people in the United States. Two murders of trans women have already been reported in 2019. For trans women, achieving a feminine voice can serve as a cloak of protection from bias and bigotry.
And how many murders of women were there in 2018?
I didn’t find stats for 2018 but 2016 will do:
More than 1,800 women were murdered by men in 2016 and the most common weapon used was a gun, according to the new Violence Policy Center (VPC) study When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2016 Homicide Data.
It appears that for those women a feminine voice did not serve as a cloak of protection. Maybe they all had particularly shrill feminine voices?
Then the author shifted to the personal note.
Throughout my own transition, I’ve often wondered whether my voice, which is deeper than that of the typical cisgender woman, diminished my value as a woman. Hormones and surgical alterations had feminized my exterior, however, my voice had not changed and was a persistent source of frustration and angst for me. At times, I wished for nothing more than a voice that was considered “pretty” and “passable”, wanting to change every aspect of my identity in order to live up to what society expects women to be: submissive, subdued, sensual and feminine.
If only all women would work harder to be more submissive and subdued.
Just in case there was any remaining doubt that trans theory depended on and even enshrined cultural expectations placed on the sexes…
This muppet comes along.
My voice is often mistaken for that of a man, yet people seeing me face to face do not mistake me for trans. It ain’t your voice. Many women have voices that are deeper than the typical “cis”woman…a lot of women may have voices that are higher than the typical “cis”woman- whatever the hell typical means when you are talking about something like 3 and a half billion individual women with different voices in different cultures and with different accents, some of which are high, some are low, some are whatever.
My somewhat deeper voice is not actually what gets me treated like shit. In fact, when people mistake me for a man because of my voice on the phone, I get more respect than what I get once they realize they are, in fact, talking to a woman. Then it’s honey, sweetie, can I talk to your husband, can I talk to the head of the household…it’s been a while since I’ve gotten is your daddy there, at least.
The real shit thing in this whole piece though is right there at the end. STOP INSISTING THAT BEING A WOMAN IS ABOUT BEING SUBMISSIVE, SUBDUED, SENSUAL, AND FEMININE.
There. Primal scream. Damn, isn’t that what we’ve been fighting against? Why not do something really radical, really nonconformist, and be a submissive, subdued, sensual, ‘feminine’ male? Instead of thinking it all makes you female? That just makes you right on with the patriarchal establishment, standing ready to oppress women and insist they submit and be sexy. Why assume that if you can’t live up to what society expects men to be, you must be a woman?
Do something truly fun and outre. Stop trying to live up to what society expects you to be.
My wife has wished for nothing more than to be looked at by the male mechanic when it’s her car in the shop. I know, that’s a lot to hope for but sometimes it does happen. Feminism is decidedly NOT about expecting women to adhere to a gender role model that expects them to be subordinate to men.
–Notice that we’re being primed to assume that those murders were all hate crimes. How many of those murders were actually motivated by bigotry against trans people? One? Three? None of them? (I don’t know the answer, but I recall checking HRC’s list for 2016, and I recall finding exactly one possible hate crime-murder.)
–Are trans people actually more at risk than non-trans people for being murder victims? (No, they’re not.) https://medium.com/@sue.donym1984/the-transgender-movement-and-bad-stats-a-debunking-compilation-31760947b382
One of my son’s best mates at school had a high pitched voice for a male, even after puberty. Both his high voice and gentle nature had me wonder from time to time if Ben were gay. Thirty years later, Ben’s voice is still quite high for a male, he is married to my daughter and father to two of my grandchildren.
It ain’t the voice.
I have quite a few customers who have deep voices but are very definitely female, and one I thought may be trans. Turns out I was right, we had a chat at a political rally. It wasn’t the voice, it wasn’t the face, it was always the hands.
They all end up sounding like exactly what they are; panto dames imitating an exaggerated Marilyn Monroe breathlessness.
Roj Blake, I love the story in your first para, especially the artful surprise ending. Nicely done.
Josh, I was going to add to your comment about the inevitable voice by saying that a fair number also end up looking like Lily Savage, but I don’t know if the name is familiar over there.
That reference is more Dame Edna over here, with perhaps a dash of Les Patterson.
(@ AoS)
“Hellooooo Possums”. I loved Dame Edna.