On the larger side
It turns out there’s a cost to internalized misogyny. Who could have predicted that?
The author is anonymous, fortunately.
I am 24, and have always been self-conscious of how I looked “down there”. Not enough to put me off having sex and I never had complaints, but it was always in the back of my mind that my labia were on the larger side. I’d previously had cosmetic surgery on my ears, which went well, and figured that labiaplasty could also boost my confidence.
“On the larger side” compared to what? The women in porn? Who makes these rules? Who decided that chopping off bits of the genitalia should be medicalized into the official-sounding “labiaplasty”? What is wrong with people?
So she skipped out and had it done.
Straight away, I knew something wasn’t right. Instead of a reduction, it was clear that my labia had been completely removed. That first week was the worst of my life. I cried several times a day, and even considered suicide. The enormity of my decision sunk in – I could hardly walk and even sitting down was a struggle.
Now she’s terrified of ever having sex again.
Yep, internalized misogyny definitely extracts a price.
That’s appalling. I used to think that private therapy was bad, in a making-money-from-the-misery-of-others way, but at least therapists don’t cut off (bits of) people’s private parts and pretend that they are doing their victims a favour.
That’s awful. Even the ear surgery just isn’t something that shouldn’t be for sale. Who on earth needs cosmetic ear surgery?! When was the last time you thought someone’s ears didn’t like perfectly fine?
Coametic surgery ia often internalised racism too. E.g. eyelid surgery is popular in east asia because of the dominance of western beauty standards.
Yep, and in India for instance it’s considered a big plus to be “fair.”
My sister had ears that were on the largish side – my dad has ears like Bing Crosby, so it is probably inherited from him. She never sought surgery. She pulled her hair back and revealed her ears a lot. She thought they made her unique, not like anyone else. Why can’t we promote this idea of being happy with who you are, unless, of course, you need surgery to correct for some devastating disease that could cause you harm?
How does a 24yo afford multiple cosmetic surgeries?
Can her report be trusted? The self-alienation and dysmorphia suggest that she can’t really perceive herself before or after the surgery. That such surgeries can be purchased like cosmetics is a terrible thought.
What could her sexual experience have been like with this obsession cooking away in her mind?
Heresy! Who’s going to make money off that?
How much of our economy (or capitalism itself) is based on the idea of continuous, serial dissatisfaction? Women particularly are alternately encouraged or goaded into pursuing unattainable goals of appearance, for example, with any failure to reach said goals being placed at the feet of women “failing” rather than the unrealistic nature of the goals themselves. The fact that it has moved from fashion to flesh is just a new front in the same war.
But not just women either: everything from deodorant to cars is peddled with an eye to fertilizing the idea that the viewer/consumer/mark is not good enough as they are, but will be once the particular product-as-savior is purchased. That is until the next inadequacy is discovered and highlighted as a new, manufactured need.