In the least surprising news ever…

President Donald Trump tried to blame a lot of things Monday for a series of horrific shootings over the weekend. What he didn’t do was take any of the blame onto himself or pledge to change his rhetoric.

Well. This is Trump. Has he ever in his life taken any blame for anything?

I don’t know for a fact that he hasn’t, because I wasn’t there, but I think if he ever had we would have been told. From everything we’ve been all too able to see, he never does and he is incapable of ever doing so. He’s incapable of it in the same sense I’m incapable of speaking Mandarin. I’ve never learned Mandarin, so even if you put a gun to my head and told me to speak it or get the bullet, I wouldn’t be able to. Same with Trump. He’s never learned donaldtrumpcanbewrong, so he can’t speak it even if you try to force him.

Reading from a teleprompter at the White House, the President sounded nothing like the Trump who goes off-script when he tweets or is whipping up crowds of political supporters at campaign rallies.

Indeed. He sounded like someone reading Mandarin phonetically spelled on a teleprompter, with a wad of cotton in his mouth and a severe head twitch.

“In one voice, our nation must condemn racism, bigotry and white supremacy,” Trump said Monday. “These sinister ideologies must be defeated. Hate has no place in America. Hatred warps the mind, ravages the heart and devours the soul.”

It’s Mandarin to him. He doesn’t understand a word of it.