Because of that
From the Department of First World Problems (aka Dear Muslima aka You Think YOU Have It Bad aka We Walked 10 Miles To School In A Blizzard) – the ACLU’s star Trans Person Chase Strangio tweets:
The cost of being trans: I still get mail in my old name. Because of this, I am afraid to check my mail. Because of that, I sometimes miss bills that I need to pay. Because of that those outstanding bills have gone to collection. Because of that, my credit gets worse.
Replies are not universally sympathetic.
- I have the same surname as my violent abusive alcoholic father. I’ve never thought about using it to get out of paying my mortgage but thanks for the tip.
- No, this is a consequence of changing your name. Happens to lots of people. If you are afraid of seeing your former name, you should get some help – both practical and emotional. I hope life gets easier for you, bc no one can rely on the rest of the world changing to protect them
- The cost of being a woman – I get mail, and organisations and systems and relatives and friends, using a name I have NEVER had. How? They unilaterally decided I had changed my name when I married. I didn’t, haven’t and never will do. I still pay all my bills. Life sucks. Tough.
- Imagine losing a baby and getting mail from all the companies that latch into you once you’re pregnant. Did my best to cancel them all but still got a “your baby is now 4 months old” email. Life is painful sometimes.
- I still get mail addressed to my dead spouse. That’s a sucker punch in the gut. I can’t imagine how much worse it would be for a bereaved parent.
- I get mail addressed to my late wife. This can be upsetting. I am not afraid of it though. I open it, pay it if it’s a bill, ask them to change the name or stop sending it. Might I suggest you do the same and stop being so f***ing precious.
This is a built-in hazard with a putative Rights Campaign that is so thoroughly rooted in self-obsession. It can’t be anything else. An adult level of awareness of other people and their other minds and other views would tell you that how they see you is in effect what you are. Be a monarch or a pirate or a Nobel laureate or a movie star in your head all you like, but stop there.
People who aren’t narcissists do stop there. Narcissists try to force it on everyone, and call that “trans rights.”
I got a Christmas card one year from the person who raped me. I survived. I didn’t like it, it hurt, but I went ahead and went to work and did my job and functioned, albeit in a bit of a panic.
What, was Strangio once a camp guard at Auschwitz? Was their youth spent committing crimes too horrible to face? That’s my impression.
I would have thought that a healthy identity involved accepting and reconciling all that involves the self, including the past — not reeling from it in dread and horror. I suppose the purpose of the high drama is to convince one and all that deep self hatred and loathing is only tenuously held at bay. Anything from outside— a name, a word, a pronoun, the mere breath of disagreement— could shatter the transgender individual.and reduce a seemingly happy and satisfied person to a trembling wreck. What a vulnerable life they must live. Surely they need sympathy … and protection.
This is emotional manipulation.
Precisely.
Also attention-seeking.
Narcissism all the way down.
There are a few good comments about the real fear people in poverty experience when confronted with bills they know they don’t have the resources to pay. This was how it was when I was growing up, my parents dreading the utility bills or the day the rent was due because we were struggling so much. This Strangio person doesn’t know they’re born.
Disturbing that Strangio wants to pass this off as not just a personal shortcoming, but as something that is implied to be true for every trans person (“the cost of being trans”). It comes perilously close to claiming that trans people can’t be expected to function in the workplace, which is not something I’d expect to hear from someone who is supposed to be fighting trans discrimination.
@ScreechyMonkey – Yes. Don’t get a job where you have to talk on the phone (and that’s millions of office jobs) as you may be misgendered and will start fainting and swooning instead of going through the terms of the insurance policy you’re selling.
If Chase is telling the truth and is not just talking sensationalist nonsense for sympathy, they need counseling or anti-anxiety medication or both. The usual response to this is an accusation that we are ‘medicalising’ the state of being trans – despite this person supposedly being unable to function due to stress.
On the other hand, I’m leaning towards Chase being a precious nitwit.
Claire, I second that. I spent a decade + of my adult years raising a son and staving off debt, and I can testify that I had a lot more to worry about than envelopes that called me “Mr” or used an incorrect name, one of the opposite sex.
Oh, come on people, where’s your empathy? His mail is failing to validate him, for crying out loud!
Bills through the postal service! It practically screams “fee mail”! How much more validation does one need?
To be fair, I do occasionally get bills through the postal service. Mostly from my doctor, when my insurance doesn’t cover the whole thing over my copay, and I need to send more money than I already gave him. Other than that, mostly bulk mailing from people who want my money…not bills, because I can ignore them or answer them as I please.
All he has to do is get all his bills electronically, make sure he clicks the right box when he sets it up, and everybody will address him appropriately as Dear Sir or Madam. He can take his pick. Validation!
I wonder if somebody sent her a big 6 figure check with her old name on it……….would she be too traumatized to cash it?
Great idea SW88, we should start a go fund me or something to raise the cash.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV-4HH6BxY0
Chase Strangio’s tweet was still there last night, but it was gone this morning, maybe since The Worst of Twitter posted it last night.
If I ever email the ACLU to tell them why I dropped my membership, I’ll definitely include that post.