Balloonicide
Some dastardly fiend stabbed the Alabama Trump Baby balloon.
A towering Baby Trump protest balloon was knifed and deflated by someone unhappy with its appearance during Donald Trump’s Saturday trip to Alabama, organisers said.
The incident occurred during the president’s visit to watch a University of Alabama football game. The balloon, which is more than 6.1 metres (20 feet) tall, was set up in a nearby park.
Jim Girvan, the organiser of a group that “adopts” out Baby Trump balloons for protests, said a man charged the balloon with a knife and cut a 2.4-metre (8-foot) gash in the back. Girvan said the unidentified man was taken into custody.
Good! Throw the book at him!
Robert Kennedy, a volunteer “baby sitter” who brought the balloon to Tuscaloosa, said the balloon immediately began to sag after it was cut.
The day had been going mostly smoothly, Kennedy said. Some people yelled “Trump 2020” as they passed while others posed for selfies with the balloon. But then Kennedy said a man sidled up on the back of the balloon and attacked it with a knife. He ran away but was caught by police officers, Kennedy said.
In memoriam:
They can rebuild him.
Republicans respect the sanctity of private property and free speech until someone uses their private property to make a statement the Republicans don’t like.
And brought Alabama his winning touch. Oh wait.
No shit, Sherlock! An 8-foot gash tends to have a rather immediate effect on an inflatable.