Bad writing award
I think the first step toward being a journalist ought to be a reasonably solid grip on the language you plan to use. There shouldn’t be a mistake or incoherence or clumsiness in every paragraph, as there is in this piece on A Nopen Letter saying…no, I’ll let the reporter explain what it says.
Dozens of female celebrities, politicians and women’s rights campaigners have condemned the “narrow and archaic” opinions they say are are squashing transgender rights in Scotland.
Squashing? Squashing rights? That’s a peculiar word to use. Crushing, yes, quashing, yes, but squashing? It sounds silly, and off.
More than 70 women from across the UK have penned an open letter hitting out at commentators they claim are trying to “roll back the rights” of transgender women.
“Hitting out at” – that’s a more familiar idiom but it’s ridiculous and poisonous. Stating a position, even one that opposes another position, is not “hitting out.”
Since the Scottish Government pledged to reform the Gender Recognition Act to be more inclusive of transgender people, critics have argued doing so will impact on the rights of non-transgender women and girls.
Vague, clumsy, uninformative. “Inclusive” meaning what? “[Have an] impact on” how? Be specific.
Various commentators, news outlets and politicians have argued that by being able to self-declare your gender or non-binary status, services and safe places for women would no longer be safe.
Fail. Subject-verb agreement, also two halves of sentence agreement.
Some argue that by allowing transgender women who may not completed their gender reassignment access to services designated for women it would be impacting on women’s rights.
Jesus. More subject-verb chaos plus there’s even a word missing.
Today, scores of women have joined together for the first time in hitting out at the claims, with signatories of the open letter including Dame Emma Thompson, MPs Mhairi Black and Hannah Bardell, members of women’s aid organisations, charities, lawyers and academics.
Scores? How many scores? Two? Three? Why not just say the number? (I think I saw somewhere that it’s 70. 3.5 score, so not all that many scores, but it sounds big.) And another “hitting out” already.
This person may identify as a journalist, but…
I knew a journalist who in the twilight of his career was shuffled off his then role as a sub-editor because of his insistence on proper spelling, grammar and syntax. The ownership of the paper and editor had decided to move to a more ‘natural and common’ use of language. My friend was of the view that translated to employing half educated children as journalists and getting rid of all the proof checkers and sub-editors. I’ve seen writing since that makes the above look worthy of a Pulitzer. Also, journalists these days are almost required to make every item they write as punchy as possible. Many of them seem to interpret this as conflict laden. So, even where there is no or little conflict, they make it sound like a knock-down brawl.
Wow, more than 70. Scores. So that’s that, then.
(If our side gets up an open letter, do you think they’ll report it?)
I’m not a professional writer, or even a particularly good amateur writer. But “hitting out?” How about disputing; disagreeing with; reacting strongly; responding…?
BC, not anywhere near enough conflict suggested with such wording. What do you want? Nuance? Dialog? tut tut
Lady M, our side did get up a letter. It has 200+ signatures (one is mine). Meghan Murphy posted it a couple of days ago at Feminist Current.
But is that letter doing hitty outy stuff, or squashing anything? Without that, it’s hardly worth reporting about, is it. Besides, it’s only hundreds of narrow, archaic, non-transgender women anyhow. Old hat stuff, really. Fourth Wave feminism will be so fucking woke it won’t feel the need to mention women at all.
I loathe “hitting out at”.
Isn’t it usually “lashing out” and “hitting back?” I want to keep the old hackneyed phrases and cliches straight for my own writing.
Argh at “Some argue…”
Bruce,
As Wilde said, Britain and America have absolutely everything in common except, of course, for their language. ;)
I signed it, too. Me, you, and 998 other people.
Hey, Beeb! *whistles*