What I want to know is how they make it go forward toward his face and backward toward his neck WHEN THERE’S NOTHING ON TOP and you can’t see the division. It’s baffling.
That oily swirly bit on the side is extra ugly. They should quit that.
It has been investigated by inquiring minds and the best explanation is that it’s some expensive weirdass sowing of hair onto the head thing. (Disclaimer: not necessarily an accurate description.) Here:
“What I want to know is how they make it go forward toward his face and backward toward his neck WHEN THERE’S NOTHING ON TOP and you can’t see the division. It’s baffling.”
This information is all CLASSIFIED, TOP SECRET, EYES ONLY, vitally important stuff. He will guard this information with more care and vigour than any other information or intelligence with which, by virtue of his office, he has been entrusted.
Others have beat me to this comparison, but if you do a Google image search of “singer flock of seagulls” you’ll see a classic bad ’80’s pop star hairdo. Their big hit was a song called “I Ran.” I always thought they’d spent more money on that guy’s hair than they did for the music or video. Images of Trump show up in this search.
You can also try a Google image search of “john candy spaceballs barf”. (Barf is the name of Candy’s character in the movie, not the action or product of vomiting.)
I don’t know if this fully addresses it, but from Fire and Fury:
“[Ivanka] often described the mechanics behind it to friends: An absolutely clean pate — a contained island after scalp-reduction surgery — surrounded by a furry circle of hair around the sides and front, from which all ends are drawn up to meet in the center and then swept back and secured by a stiffening spray.”
In the video of this event, his (apparently) hair is blowing all about the place, like it’s trying to finally escape. He doesn’t seem to realise this, for the most part, but then he reaches up and smooths down the hairs on the back of his head.
I cannot make sense of this.
I mean, far be it for me to criticise hair. My usual strategy is based on the longest possible time between haircuts without my hair getting too annoying or upsetting the norms. It tends to go from very short indeed to Clint Eastwood and finally full Wolverine before animals start to run away from me and I have to have it cut.
But even given my lack of care or awareness of my hair, if it were windy out, I’d notice the longer bits on the top blowing about and would tend to try to correct those parts, rather than the back. It’s almost as though there’s something fixing the rest of his hair in place there in some arcane way.
We need some hairdressers here to explain how this feat of engineering occurs. Skeletor’s account sort of describes one possibility, but that’s like saying the Tyne Bridge is a big blue loopy thing with water under it. It doesn’t explain why it doesn’t fall down all the time. And it looks like piss-coloured candy floss to me anyway, at the best of times. Trump’s hair, not the Tyne bridge.
And what is scalp-reduction surgery? Is it what it sounds like? I almost daren’t look it up. Do they hack a bit out of the skin on your head then stretch the bits together and sew them up? It seems a lot of bother if you end up with Trump hair as a result.
There’s an episode of Malcolm in the Middle where Francis gets his hair and eyebrows completely shaved off before a big date. He ends up drawing both on with a felt tip which looked a lot more realistic than Trump’s ephemeral arrangement.
Ya know, it pains me to say anything remotely appreciative about the turd, but look at the real hair under there. It’s a dignified silver fringe. If he lost the horrid furry orange scalp parasite and could perform facial expressions that indicated genuine thought and/or human warmth, he’d look like a respectable, mature gentleman.
Well quite. You’d think he’d realize what a prat the gilded monstrosity makes him look and go for the power-shaved-head look instead, like his generals.
latsot @ 8 – my feeling watching that was that he did know it was happening but was trying to pretend it wasn’t, and the furtive pat at the back was just a despairing attempt to lessen the damage just before he disappeared.inside.
Skeletor @ 7 – I think I quoted that passage here when F&F came out – I’m that curious about how the front-back thing works. But no, that doesn’t explain it – it doesn’t explain why we can’t see the place on top where the front segment goes its way and the back one goes its. In non-bald people who don’t part their hair that’s a cowlick, but of course Trump is too bald to have a cowlick – so HOW IS IT DONE?
Or maybe he listens to the noise ON his head? Not quite white noise, but … desperately trying to keep it under control. The tie is kind of OK with Sellotape.
maigawd…it’s all still attached to his haid… How do they do that?
What I want to know is how they make it go forward toward his face and backward toward his neck WHEN THERE’S NOTHING ON TOP and you can’t see the division. It’s baffling.
That oily swirly bit on the side is extra ugly. They should quit that.
How much would it take to bribe his hair-dresser?
It has been investigated by inquiring minds and the best explanation is that it’s some expensive weirdass sowing of hair onto the head thing. (Disclaimer: not necessarily an accurate description.) Here:
http://gawker.com/is-donald-trump-s-hair-a-60-000-weave-a-gawker-invest-1777581357
“What I want to know is how they make it go forward toward his face and backward toward his neck WHEN THERE’S NOTHING ON TOP and you can’t see the division. It’s baffling.”
This information is all CLASSIFIED, TOP SECRET, EYES ONLY, vitally important stuff. He will guard this information with more care and vigour than any other information or intelligence with which, by virtue of his office, he has been entrusted.
Others have beat me to this comparison, but if you do a Google image search of “singer flock of seagulls” you’ll see a classic bad ’80’s pop star hairdo. Their big hit was a song called “I Ran.” I always thought they’d spent more money on that guy’s hair than they did for the music or video. Images of Trump show up in this search.
You can also try a Google image search of “john candy spaceballs barf”. (Barf is the name of Candy’s character in the movie, not the action or product of vomiting.)
Hat. A hat would be his friend on days like this. I’m glad he has no friends :-)
I don’t know if this fully addresses it, but from Fire and Fury:
In the video of this event, his (apparently) hair is blowing all about the place, like it’s trying to finally escape. He doesn’t seem to realise this, for the most part, but then he reaches up and smooths down the hairs on the back of his head.
I cannot make sense of this.
I mean, far be it for me to criticise hair. My usual strategy is based on the longest possible time between haircuts without my hair getting too annoying or upsetting the norms. It tends to go from very short indeed to Clint Eastwood and finally full Wolverine before animals start to run away from me and I have to have it cut.
But even given my lack of care or awareness of my hair, if it were windy out, I’d notice the longer bits on the top blowing about and would tend to try to correct those parts, rather than the back. It’s almost as though there’s something fixing the rest of his hair in place there in some arcane way.
We need some hairdressers here to explain how this feat of engineering occurs. Skeletor’s account sort of describes one possibility, but that’s like saying the Tyne Bridge is a big blue loopy thing with water under it. It doesn’t explain why it doesn’t fall down all the time. And it looks like piss-coloured candy floss to me anyway, at the best of times. Trump’s hair, not the Tyne bridge.
And what is scalp-reduction surgery? Is it what it sounds like? I almost daren’t look it up. Do they hack a bit out of the skin on your head then stretch the bits together and sew them up? It seems a lot of bother if you end up with Trump hair as a result.
There’s an episode of Malcolm in the Middle where Francis gets his hair and eyebrows completely shaved off before a big date. He ends up drawing both on with a felt tip which looked a lot more realistic than Trump’s ephemeral arrangement.
First hippie to make it into the White House.
But where are his beads?
Ya know, it pains me to say anything remotely appreciative about the turd, but look at the real hair under there. It’s a dignified silver fringe. If he lost the horrid furry orange scalp parasite and could perform facial expressions that indicated genuine thought and/or human warmth, he’d look like a respectable, mature gentleman.
Well quite. You’d think he’d realize what a prat the gilded monstrosity makes him look and go for the power-shaved-head look instead, like his generals.
latsot @ 8 – my feeling watching that was that he did know it was happening but was trying to pretend it wasn’t, and the furtive pat at the back was just a despairing attempt to lessen the damage just before he disappeared.inside.
Skeletor @ 7 – I think I quoted that passage here when F&F came out – I’m that curious about how the front-back thing works. But no, that doesn’t explain it – it doesn’t explain why we can’t see the place on top where the front segment goes its way and the back one goes its. In non-bald people who don’t part their hair that’s a cowlick, but of course Trump is too bald to have a cowlick – so HOW IS IT DONE?
OB:
Where would the world be without its mysteries?.
Gee, his immediate predecessor in the Oval Office never had that problem….
Can’t imagine Trump ever having a picture like this taken either:
http://time.com/4640222/president-obama-jacob-philadelphia-photo/
(Photo of Obama bending down so a little boy could rub his hair.)
@Jeff Engel–interesting point, thanks for making me look again. In the second pic you can actually see how he’d look as a ‘normal’ person.
This is an illustration of his unwillingness and stubbornness. Why not a hat?
He listens to no one but the voice in his head: Lord Trump.
Or maybe he listens to the noise ON his head? Not quite white noise, but … desperately trying to keep it under control. The tie is kind of OK with Sellotape.