Going back to the roots of the catastrophe. Last April Bob Woodward and Robert Costa interviewed Trump. They asked him when the dream was born. He indicated that the earliest hint was perhaps while Romney was campaigning against Obama. He thought Romney was weak – very, very weak.

I thought that — I thought Obama was very beatable. Very, very beatable. You know, you had a president who was not doing well, to put it nicely. And I looked at that very seriously. I had some difficulty because I was doing some big jobs that were finishing up, which I wanted to do. My children were younger. And four years makes a big difference. And I also had a signed contract to do “The Apprentice” with NBC. Which in all fairness, you know, sounds like — when you’re talking about “president” it doesn’t sound much, but when you have a two-hour show, prime time, every once a week on a major network . . .  .

Certainly. It’s a tough choice. When you star on a quality show like The Apprentice, that’s stiff competition…if you think of the presidency as a chance to get more celebrity and money, and nothing else.

So, Woodward asks, when did the presidency win? It’s a big decision.

BW: This is the big one.

DT:  Big decision. Yeah, this is a big decision. And I say, sometimes I’ll say it in the speeches. It takes guts to run for president, especially if you’re not a politician, you’ve never . . .  .

BW: When did it become yes?

In other words, don’t go off on a tangent on how gutsy you are, answer the fucking question.

DT: What happened is, during that time that I was just talking about, I started saying I’d like to do it, but I wasn’t really in a position to do it. I was doing a lot of things, and I had a signed contract with NBC. But I started thinking about it. And the press started putting me in polls, and I was winning in the polls. In fact, the day before, I was on “Meet the Press” the day before I announced I wasn’t going to do it, and I got signed for another two years of “The Apprentice” and everything else. Which, by the way, I don’t know if you saw, but “The Apprentice” is a big thing. I made two hundred . . .  .

BW: You made a lot of money.

DT: Yeah. You were shocked. Remember this crazy man, Lawrence O’Donnell — he’s a total crazy nut — he said, Donald Trump only made a million dollars with “The Apprentice.” I said, “A million dollars?” You know, when you have a show that’s essentially number one almost every time it goes on, you can name it. . . . So anyway, when they added it all up — and these are certified numbers, because you have to do certified numbers — it came out to $213 million. Okay? That’s what I made on “The Apprentice.” That’s just — and that’s one of my small things. That’s what I made. You know? So it was put at $213 million, and it was certified. And your friend Joe in the morning said, “There’s no way he only made. . . .” They had a big fight, and O’Donnell, Lawrence O’Donnell started crying. I never saw anything like it. Do you remember? He started crying. [Laughter] He actually started crying. But that shows the level of hatred that people have. But what happened is, I made — I had a very, very successful show. And they put me in polls, and I was essentially leading right at the top, without doing any work. Not one speech, not one anything. But any time I was in a poll, I did very well in the poll.

And there you have it. We owe the fact that this stupid, ignorant, conceited, cruel, lying, cheating fraud of a man is president and could trigger a global nuclear apocalypse the next time he loses his temper to an idiotic television show. Donald Fucking Trump is president because of The Apprentice.

Neil Postman wrote a book called Amusing Ourselves to Death. He didn’t mean it this literally.

Trump then describes what he calls his thought process.

RC: What happened between 2011 and 2014?

DT: Well, that’s what — I mean. . . . Between 2011 and 2014? I would say, just thought process. Only thought process.

HOPE HICKS: A lot of deals.

DT:  Yeah, I mean, I was doing — but in terms of this, only thought process. So what happened, but during this period of time, I said, you know, this is something I really would like to do. I think I’d do it really well. Obviously the public seems to like me, because without any . . .  .

Why? Why did he think he would do it really well? It’s an utterly ridiculous thing to think, so why did he think it? High name recognition is not a reason.

Eventually he decided. Did the family object? Oh sure.

BW: Did anyone recommend no? Did your wife, or did your son?

DT: Oh. Yeah.

BW: Did anyone say, “Dad, Donald, don’t do it?”

DT: I think my wife would much have preferred that I didn’t do it. She’s a very private person. She was a very, very successful — very, very successful model. She made a tremendous amount of money and had great success and dealt at the . . .  .

BW: What’d she say?

DT: She was, she said, we have such a great life. “Why do you want to do this?” She was . . .  .

BW: And what’d you say?

DT: I said, “I sort of have to do it, I think. I really have to do it.” Because it’s something I’d be — I could do such a great job. I really wanted to give something back. I don’t want to act overly generous, but I really wanted to give something back.

BW: Well, that’s the important moment, when you say, I have to do it.

DT:  Yeah, I had to.

BW: That’s the product of the endless internal dialogue.

DT: Well, she’s a very private person, and very smart person. I’m sure you’ve seen a couple of interviews that she’s done. She’s very smart. And there’s no games. You know, it’s boom, it’s all business. But a very smart person. And considered one of the great beauties.

She’s some of the very best arm candy. Very best. Top. Other rich dudes don’t have.

Also he has an excellent grip on all the things. Excellent.

RC: Let’s say you’re the president, though. How do you see the office of the presidency?

BW: Other words, what’s the definition of the job?

DT: Okay. I think more than anything else, it’s the security of our nation. That’s always going to be – that’s number one, two and three. After that, many things come into focus. It’s health, it’s health care. It’s jobs. It’s the economy. But number one —and I say number one, two, three — is the security of the country. The military, being strong, not letting bad things happen to our country from the outside. And I certainly think that that’s always going to be my number one part of that definition.

Oh yay. I feel so cozy and safe now.

End of part one.