Guest post: She is told to shut up about her body and experience
Originally a comment by Myrhinme on Those theorists whose lives are most directly affected.
I recently decided to stop identifying as a feminist. This was a big decision for me but the recent developments in feminism have bothered me too much. There was a time that I would have said that any woman (and even any man) who supports equality is a feminist. I was puzzled when I heard women who often talked about equality saying that they were not feminists. I assumed it was because of negative stereotypes.
In recent years, feminism has become fashionable and I was glad to see young women becoming engaged. I still am glad that young women want to stand up against sexual violence and other problems that they face. However, I now see a situation where any woman who wants to call herself a feminist is told that she must actively support a range of causes even if she knows little about them or simply disagrees with some parts. She is told to accept orthodoxies about gender, that she may never question a trans woman’s understanding of what it is to be female but that a trans woman may question hers and trash her if it does not toe the party line. She is told to shut up about her body and experience and definitely not to utter the heresy that she only feels female because she has a female body.
If a feminist is white, she can expect to walk on eggshells. She can talk about race but if anyone disagrees they can call her a “white feminist”. This is an insult but if she protests that it is wrong to use a description of what she is as an insult she’s just demonstrating what a spoiled privileged white women she is. She can diplomatically avoid the subject of race but then she’s a white feminist who only cares about white woman things (as if no other women are raped, or suffer domestic violence or need contraception and abortion). What is the alternative? Absolute submission. She must defer absolutely to the views declared orthodox and never disagree with a person from a marginalized group. She must accept that she is racist but she can pay Everday Feminism a fee to help her atone and heal from her toxic whiteness.
I could not encourage girls to get involved in feminism if it means being submissive and letting people treat them like shit. They, like everybody else, should feel entitled to a basic level of respect. They should be encouraged to question orthodox views and form their own opinions.
There have always been feminists that I had a problem with but they were usually on the fringes. The ones I have a problem with now are dominating the discourse and I don’t want to be associated with them. I have a background in human rights activism and want to continue with that rather than waste time with people who would argue whether I am a proper feminist or a white feminist or whatever. I want to get things done that will really make a difference.
I can only add that I am female, bisexual and have suffered from a disabling chronic condition since I was a teenager that has blighted by life. I am exactly the sort of person that social justice enthusiasts claim to represent. However, I want nothing to do with people who shut down all dissent, vilify everyone they disagree with, however small the disagreement, and attack free speech. I care too much about human rights and intellectual freedom for that.
So, I’d rather not call myself a feminist. I want to go back to being a human rights activist and I’ll choose independence of thought over dogma.
I’m tempted to drop the term myself, at least until those who have appropriated the ‘intersectional’ label recall that the thing all those other forms of oppression are supposed to be intersecting with is, um, feminism.
There is a point where lables become useless. Neil DeGrasse Tyson was once asked whether or not he identified as a secular humanist (or some comparable label), and his answer went something like this: If I tell you I’m a secular humanist, you’re going to think you already know a lot more about my actual views than you do. If you’re really interested in knowing what I think, you’re going to have to stick around for the long version. And if you don’t have time for that, then no real understanding will be conveyed by me just giving you a label. (Not an exact quote)
I think the same thing goes for feminism. Saying that feminism is a movement that opposes the discrimination of women doesn’t get us very far when we can’t even agree on who counts as “women” (people with physical traits more representative of mothers than fathers, or people who feel a certain way about themselves*) or what constitutes “discrimination” (treating people differently based on group identity, or failing to do so).
Ophelia once wrote a post, I believe it was called #peopleagainstbadthings, making the point that saying you’re pro equality/against misogyny doesn’t make you any less of a misogynist – let alone a feminist – if you insist of “defining ‘misogyny’ so narrowly that it’s defined out of existence” (I might not get the wording exactly right). After all almost everyone claims to be pro equality and against misogyny. In that sense saying you’re against misogyny is almost like saying you’re against “bad things”. Even a Trump-supporting MRA might say “Of course we’re all against misogyny and sexism. But the under-representation of women in high-status jobs has nothing to do with misogyny or sexism, that’s just different preferences, ‘more of a guy thing’ etc. And the pay gap has nothing to do with misogyny or sexism, that’s just meritocracy and equality of opportunity as opposed to equality of outcome. And sexual harassment has nothing to do with misogyny or sexism, that’s just humor, or ‘banter’, or ‘compliments’, or ‘sex positivity’. And the online bullying of women has nothing to do with misogyny or sexism, that’s just ‘disagreement’, or ‘criticism’, or ‘free speech’ etc. etc. etc. So of course we would all be against misogyny and sexism if there were such a thing, but luckily there is not.” Well, sorry not good enough.
* As I keep pointing out, the fact that the trans activist idea of a “woman” by necessity excludes anyone who fails to think/feel the right way about themselves never seems to bother anyone.
#OP
Another reason not to identify as a feminist is that only feminists seem to be held to such an absurd level of examination of motivation and reasoning; non-feminists are exempt from that by virtue of not occupying a label that the ‘intersectionalists’ are trying to steer. And as Bjarte notes, another advantage is that people don’t have a pre-formed idea of what you think unless you use a label of some sort.
#1
Very similar to this is the sheer number of people claiming not to be racists… mostly because they define racism as some absurd extreme like ‘a racist is someone that wants to kill non-white people’ followed by something blatantly racist like ‘I don’t want to kill them, I just think they are inherently more violent and less intelligent than white people. That’s science, not racism!’