Self-reliant corn syrup farmers
Rush Limbaugh has spied a new danger.
Here’s how it works. “Rural America happens to be largely conservative. Rural America is made up of self-reliant, rugged individualist types,” explains Limbaugh. (Farmers are “self-reliant” because, even though their sector is technically the recipient of heavy federal subsidies, they are overwhelmingly white.) Obama has a plan to attack them:
They are trying to bust up one of the last geographically conservative regions in the country; that’s rural America … So here comes the Obama Regime with a bunch of federal money and they’re waving it around, and all you gotta do to get it is be a lesbian and want to be a farmer and they’ll set you up … apparently enough money it make it happen, and the objective here is to attack rural states.
Oh no, not…lesbian farmers!! How will we ever survive?
They’ll get rid of all the bulls, you know, and that will mean no milk, and that will mean no cheese. No cheese. I can’t stop shivering.
I for one am ready to see the “conservative, family-values contingent” in rural America invaded by “lesbian farmers”. Life will be a lot more fun here in the Midwest.
Limbaugh’s still alive, huh?
(Geez. Why do we even _ have_ these black helicopters? All they’re any damn good for is buzzing terrified teenagers trying to make out in wheat fields…)
(Lesbian pilots, natch. Affirmative action thing.)
Rugged lesbian bull soy milk Obama mozzarella rush ftw! (Sorry, dropped the corn somewhere in the mid
Rrr, you could add a bit of corn syrup to the soy milk for sweetness, and then use it for dessert after the Obama mozzarella.
Now a kind of reverse “Down to the Countryside” (moving insular rural people to diverse urban areas) could have the stated effect… but somehow I don’t think helping marginalized groups into ag really would.
BTW, the core behind Rush’s little conspiracy theory is simply a program by the USDA to point out that yes, there are LGBT farmers, and hey, that’s cool. No extra money for being lesbian farmers (save that LGBT farmers in general are more likely to be poor, and thus qualify for the aid we give to all poor farmers, even the straight white Christian male ones).