Guest post: Remake Rambo. Remake Commando. Remake Star Wars, Star Trek, and Star Rambo.
Guest post by Pieter Droogendijk
I have a rage. I’m not linking to anything, because the articles in question don’t deserve even one additional hit. But here’s the thing; there’s apparently an uproar on the internet about Rogue One, Star Wars, Ghost Busters, Mad Max, and a bunch of other crap. Here’s my take:
MORE FEMALE LEADS!
If it were up to me, every movie would have a lady protagonist. I don’t care if it “makes sense for the story;” it’s a story. Make it make sense. We have some catching up to do; men have led movies since the first one.
Remake Rambo. Remake Commando. Remake Star Wars, Star Trek, and Star Rambo. Remake everything, whatever you want, and put women in it. Especially whatever’s hot in popular culture.
And don’t give me that fucking “wah wah feminist SJW” crap. Guess what, half the population is female. Just because they’re drowned out by entitled angry men doesn’t invalidate their voices. GET OVER YOURSELF, you entitled howling shit-donkeys.
Here’s the lesson: 30-and-40-something male Ghost Busters, Mad Max and Star Wars fans, the world is no longer about you. The people who grew up with this shit have daughters now.
As far as I’m concerned, Fury Road wasn’t made for you. It was made for that girl in the queue with a Furiosa costume.
The 2016 Ghostbusters wasn’t made for you. It was made for that girl in the queue who’s wearing a Ghost Busters outfit.
The new Star Wars wasn’t made for you. It was made for that girl in the queue who’s dressed up as Rey.
As for modern Star Trek fans, those new movies are terrible. J. J. Abrams, put some Wars magic in that Trek.
I’ll be screaming for the next Fury Road, the next Black Widow, the next Star Wars, the next Jessica Jones, a female Doctor Who, everything. Here’s to every future gender- and sex-positive movie, remake, reboot, sequel or whatever.
Here’s to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and to Brent Spiner in the new Independence Day, too.
And if you think it’s bad that a brand you liked as a kid wasn’t made just for you, go re-evaluate your life.
And while we’re at it, let’s elect more females. Maybe we should have all females in office for like, what, 200 years? Then we share and share alike, once we’ve evened up a bit. (Not quite even; men have held onto that lead for 240 years already).
Do I think that would bring a heaven on earth? Hell no. Women can be as hateful, petty, conniving, conspiratorial, and greedy as men can. But it would be only fair. (Hey, after about 160 years, we could let them have some token men, eventually working up to something like 20%? Maybe.)
More like Trek magic back in those Wars… but otherwise, I agree wholeheartedly.
Very nicely put.
It is bad that the Star Wars of my youth was remade, Rey and the general introduction of inclusivity being injected into the brand are the only good things about my ruined childhood.
I’m looking forward to the all-female remake of Saving Private Ryan
I’d like to see more original properties with women in them very much as well as quality remakes/reboots/continuations with women in lead roles and women in less stereotyped supporting roles.
Naw, don’t remake these movies. The new Ghostbusters ( saw it) is not all that good. Nor is the new Independence Day from what I’ve heard. People are tired of whiz-bang, big-budget block-busters. It’s like watching a video game.
Roles like that of Blake Lively in The Shallows are a much better route to go. The movie was made with a smallish budget, is making money hand over foot, and has a lead character chock full of intelligence and resourcefulness that could inspire many young women.
@2 Like you I agree with the main thrust of this piece, but found that one throwaway comment disagreeable.
Star Wars and Star Trek are different things, and there is plenty of room for both. That doesn’t mean everyone has to like both (though I do, personally).
That said, I think the Abrams Trek has too much Wars and not enough Trek. I got the feeling that these were Star Trek films made by someone who’d rather be making Star Wars films (and now he is). That’s not the only problem with the Abrams’ Trek films; in many respects, they are just bad: illogical plots, muddled character motivations, etc.
Which is too bad, because the casting was quite good, IMHO, and was wasted on poor scripts.
Hopefully, the planned TV series will be better/