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A Saudi millionaire has been acquitted of raping a teenage girl; he claimed he accidentally tripped and fell on her. Could happen to anyone, couldn’t it. So tragically easy to do.
Updating to add: this was in Southwark Crown Court, in London.
Ehsan Abdulaziz, 46, was accused of forcing himself on an 18 year-old-girl who had slept on his sofa in his Maida Vale flat after a night out drinking.
The businessman had already had sex with the teenager’s 24-year-old friend, whom he already knew, in the bedroom and said his penis might have been poking out of his underwear when he fell on the teen.
The young woman said she had woken up in the early hours of the morning, with Mr Abdulaziz on top of her, forcing himself inside her.
But no: he was on top of her, but he wasn’t forcing himself inside her, it’s just that his penis was poking out of his underpants and it just happened to fall up inside her vagina. We all know how easily that can happen, right? We can all see the mechanics of it with no problem at all? A man trips and falls on top of a woman and whoops! there’s his penis accidentally fallen up her vagina. Half the people on earth are a result of how easy that is.
His semen and DNA was found inside the young woman, but he said it was possible he had semen on his hands from having sex with the 24-year-old earlier.
And his hands also accidentally fell up her when he fell on her. That too is so absurdly easy it’s amazing anyone ever brings a rape case at all.
What money and oil can buy.
So what you’re saying is that an actual adult, that is not living inside an Adam Sandler movie, has now used ‘I tripped and fell
peniscum-stained fingers first into her vagina’ unironically.In a courtroom.
And it worked.
Remind me again, how the fuck is it that Saudi Arabian jurisprudence has any fucking credibility at all?
Ah this is a UK court. I should have made that clear.
Oh right, I didn’t bother because of the Maida Vale reference.
Wealthy Saudis can be so disgusting. This reminds me of that incident in L.A. a few months back. The ‘prince’ was released on a few thousand bail and then promptly fled the country. And what he did was much worse at that.
Ok, even IF you accept his account as completely true, it’s customary for people approaching others to offer assistance like t-shirts and taxis to check to make sure their penises aren’t hanging out first, right? Right?
Who could possibly buy this explanation without first being bought themselves?
There was a series of cartoons showing how people might have sex accidentally.
http://grist.org/sex/2011-03-28-hilarious-cartoon-ads-sex-is-no-accident-always-use-a-condom/
The joke was how absurd and unlikely such a scenario would be – but that seems to have been missed by Mr Abdulaziz.
A fucking UK court.
A FUCKING UK COURT?!
As a Brit I’m hanging me head in shame. I don’t fucking believe it. I don’t *want* to believe it.
God help us. Figuratively speaking, of course.
…Oh, that’s disappointing to learn.