Not So Clean, Not So Dry
If you’re looking for a diversion from fighting fashionable and religious nonsense, but you don’t want to miss your daily dose of sanctimony, look no further than the American funeral business. You’ll seldom find a culture as steeped in faux tradition, self-regard, mythology and jargon as the Dismal Trade. What the typical American endures—and pays for—when a family member dies would strike most readers from other countries as having a through-the-looking-glass quality. It would strike Americans that way, too, if most of us knew what went on behind the formaldehyde curtain.
Well, here’s a little peek for you. The following extract is from my book, co-written with Lisa Carlson, Final Rights: Reclaiming the American Way of Death. —Josh Slocum
Are you afraid of bugs? Does the thought of burial in the dank, dark earth leave you cold? Well, maybe a mausoleum is for you. Or maybe not.
Crypt space above ground has long been marketed as a “clean and dry” alternative to earth burial. Mausoleum operators aren’t shy about exploiting your squeamishness to sell you a slot. But from an engineering perspective, shelving whole human bodies behind an inch of wall space and inviting mourners to come “visit” them was never a good idea. Dead people decompose, and unless the mausoleum is properly engineered, they do it in a particularly nasty way.
A well-engineered mausoleum promotes air flow to dehydrate the bodies, with crypt slots angled backward to drain fluids that can breach the casket and run out the front. Yet many of these posthumous high-rises are shoddily constructed, and using the wrong kind of casket can lead to disaster. So-called sealer (or “protective”) caskets have a rubber gasket that seals the space between the lid and the bottom. That is exactly what you don’t want: Trapping moisture and gases causes the body to rapidly putrefy into a festering soup. People from around the country have filed suit against funeral homes, casket companies, and mausoleums for duping them into believing these “protective” caskets and above-ground crypts would keep mom clean and dry. Horrified families have sent us photographs showing liquefied remains inside the casket and gushing out onto the sidewalk.
Many in the industry know the truth, but conceal it in order to keep selling to the unwary public. There are at least four brands of Tyvek-type bags peddled in the mortuary trade journals that envelop the casket to “protect it,” as the ads coyly claim. But they’re not protecting the casket, they’re protecting the mausoleum from the casket:
Let Nature Take Its Course
We know what happens after the crypt is sealed. Your clients do not know, or do not want to know. Provide comforting visits over decades with Ensure-A-Seal’s new and improved Casket Protector. Durable and strong, the cover is designed for both metal and wood caskets. The ONE-WAY check valve allows gases to escape. The NEW seamless, chemically hardened fiberboard tray contains liquids. Don’t let natural processes destroy your facility’s reputation.
Carlson’s Funeral Ethics Organization newsletter unearthed a 1994 study on mausoleums by the Monument Builders of North America that examined how caskets held up over time in above-ground crypts:
MBNA found that the Catholic Cemetery Association was documenting an 86% failure rate for problems with wood and cloth-covered caskets, 62% for nonsealing metal, and 46% for ‘protective” or ‘sealer’ caskets. Even with the somewhat better results, the report states in bold print, ‘It is highly unlikely that such protective sealer metal caskets employ sufficient mechanisms to contain body fluids or gases.’
Betty Greiman learned the truth about mausoleums the hard way.
“The crypt was open to put his casket in and when we looked in, we saw that my mother’s casket was propped open with what looked like 2×4s. And I was hysterical,” she said to a reporter for WKRC in Cincinnati.
Greiman filed suit against Forest Lawn Cemetery in Erlanger, Ohio, after discovering the owners were propping open all the caskets to ventilate them. Ventilation is, of course, exactly what a sensible mausoleum operator wants, but propping open the coffins without telling the families?
We’ve long wondered why mausoleums would even accept sealer caskets, let alone require them, as some do. And why would funeral directors—the supposed professionals—even sell a sealer casket to a family choosing mausoleum burial? Perhaps it’s because many of them are genuinely (if inexcusably) confused. Many mausoleums require embalming on the grounds that it will prevent odors, but that won’t help for more than a few weeks or months. Apparently some undertakers actually believe this is an acceptable long-term solution.
So do some mausoleum managers. Slocum had a bizarre conversation with the manager of a Florida mausoleum in 2003. A woman from Michigan who wanted to bury her husband in a crypt they owned in Florida sent FCA copy of a letter from a “Planning Specialist” at Forest Hills Memorial Park and Funeral Home in Palm City, owned by Stewart Enterprises. In the letter, saleswoman Deanna Mitchell told the customer her husband would “need to be embalmed, and in at least an 18-gauge steel casket for placement into the mausoleum crypt.” The woman didn’t want to embalm her husband and saw no need to waste money on a heavy 18-gauge casket.
Slocum asked the saleswoman why the mausoleum required embalming. “For preservation,” she said. He then asked Stewart’s regional sales manager why Forest Hills required an 18-gauge casket. Bill Baggett tried to claim “bylaws from the state of Florida” required an 18-gauge; it took some pressing for him to admit these were merely the cemetery’s own bylaws (rules) that had been filed with the state regulatory office. So, why the 18-gauge? “Well, our 18-gauge caskets seal,” he said. Given the problems associated with sealer caskets in warm climates, Slocum asked why the cemetery would even want a sealer in its crypt.
“Over the years we’ve transferred many of our patients to different spaces and we’ve never had that problem,” Baggett replied.
Mr. Baggett must not read his trade journals. The weekly Funeral Service Insider published an article on “exploding casket syndrome” in 2003. FSI offered its readers “four approaches to consider: do nothing, cut chunks out of the rubber seal, leave off some of the casket hardware so air can get it, or just unseal the box completely. Cutting pieces from the casket seal (you know, the rubber gasket you paid hundreds more for because it would “protect” your loved one) was an idea from Curt Rostad, a well-known funeral director and industry commentator.
If you feel you must have mausoleum burial, take these precautions:
• Tour the buildings, and note any odors and any stains on the front of crypts or the floor or sidewalk beneath them.
• Do not purchase a sealer casket. If the mausoleum tells you these are required, you know all you need to know to cross the mausoleum off your list.
• It’s probably worth a few hundred dollars to buy an enclosure bag to zip up around the casket
About the Author
Josh Slocum is Executive Director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance. Lisa Carlson is Executive Director of the Funeral Ethics Organization.
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Ack.
Josh, thanks for a thoughtful article. As a Chaplain, I want to be available for those in my community who are grieving a loss, and want to be able to help them avoid the hard-sell from unscrupulous funeral directors.
Any precaution only delays the breach, anyway. I want my corpse run through a metaphorical chop-shop and then pulverised in available fashion.
Speaking of graves, I’d like to dig up Hegel and beat him one day. If only I were untouchably rich.
Does anyone do Egyptian mummification anymore? Maybe it could be combined with leaving your remains to medical research- or archeological research.
What? No saponification? How are we supposed to get more saints without saponifaction?
The idea of trying to preserve the body is just morbid. I’m grateful that my parents requested cremation, and their ashes will be scattered, some in their native England[*], some in Northern Ontario. I don’t need to visit a place to remember them.
[*] I’m tring to decide whether we should sing “Ilkley Moor” at the scattering ;-).
I suppose that depends on whether youll actually be on Ilkley Moor at the time? I know that England is nothing more than a wee dot on the map, but there really is a bit more to it than London and a few fields :-) (I hate doing these smileys, it’s like a bad comedian having to hold up a ‘JOKE!’ placard after each gag. Surely there must be a better, more grown-up way of showing you’re joking?).
Addendum to above;
Short of actually being funny, that is.
Some comedians can use it to decent effect. As long as they don’t overuse it. Or do overuse it to an absurd extent.
My question is, if we’re talking about the kind of pressure that can explode caskets, then what good is an, “enclosure bag?”
That somehow reminds me of the story of the Zoroastrians in India who suddenly have a huge problem with “air burial” because the vultures almost died out. Of course science can help: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/1443789.stm
When im done using this body, its waste, please dont spend cash disposing of it, I would rather my unembalmed remains get planted direct in the ground, and a nice tree planted above,that way my carcass does something usefull, and my kids can say theres daddys tree, without being bankrupted by the smaltz industry.Wouldnt bother me if i was planted in the garden next to the dog, its nothing but a hunk if rotting meat once its dead.
If I still have any usable organs when I die, they go to whoever can use them, and the rest of my corpse can either furnish fodder for medical schools, be a useful crash-test cadaver, or otherwise be recycled or burned as is most easily done at the time. I’m obviously done with it by that point. The one thing I DON’T want to have happen is to have it all wasted as a putrescent soup in a box somewhere.
Seriously, eww.
I was at a funeral today – inside a mausoleum. I was immediately knocked out by the strange odor. I have been feeling sick ever since. I have not been able to eat or drink anything. My throat and nose have a slight “burning” sensation. I have never experienced anything like this. I thought it may have been embalming fluids (it was an open casket service) -and it was extremely hot inside. I have been trying to find out what caused the horrible odor and my “sick feeling” ever since. I am truly finding out more than I wanted to. Thank goodness for my will and he cremation decision….. Ashes to ashes.
And agreed Luna the cat….. Let science learn what they can…. Organ donation, etc. Is a final gift we can give.
Cremation, it’s a wonderful thing. Not once in all my life have I ever considered cemetery burial. Cemeteries are only slightly more useless than golf courses; both are a colossal waste of space that could either be allowed to be in its natural state or at least utilized for something actually useful.
Well, everything I know about the funeral industry I learned from Evelyn Waugh’s The Loved One, but I’ll check out your book to update my knowledge. Regards.
I read constant awful stories of corpses exploding from crypts not having the correct ventilation. Also hear of corpses seeping bodlerly fluids and staining the concreate front block of the crypt causing cracks in the concreate front block, which I have seen many pictures similar too what I described. Plus Us gov when Obama cam in into power he would get funeral establishments registered and regulated and for relatives to be able too chose caskets from other funeral homes if they are cheaper also funeral homes must not force sell most expenive caskets first they must shot the costs of all caskets from the cheapest too the most expenive before chosing the casket and also Iam saddened too hear that heavier cause 18 caskets too relatives without any other choice, yet there are other options clearly yet obama I not enough too regulate funeral industry in the states really with what I have seen in videos and in us press sadly. I am just grateful that uk funeral industry is really heavily regulated and you never hear of such awful stories of finding seeping fluids too open crypts only thing I do find are pot holes in and around uk graves yet its apart of natural decomposition process and coffin or caskets go next too earths soil and not lined in a concreate tomb with the chance of casket being opened or floods unearthing them and causing more upset than its worth
Go to Mickey Dees, buy a couple of greasy Macs, put one in a black trash bag, stick a hose in the bag, duck tape, ( yes it is duck tape not duct, google it), the hose to the bag tight, you need to use as little of the bag as possible so duck tape and seal the bag near the bottom, anywhere between lunch bag to WallyMart plastic grocery bag volume size. You want to reduce the volume of the bag. Run the hose into a gallon jug of water. As gasses are produced, be careful, these gasses can be explosive, do not get a flame near, the gas will bubble up thru the water, the water keeping oxygen aka air from back flowing back into the bag reaching the greasy Mac? Place this in the summer sun for 3-4 weeks. Put the other greasy Mac in a paper bag, put it in a hot car, under a seat, trunk. At the end of the month open both. The airless non vented bag will be a disgusting mass of ill smell goo, the lunch bag Mac will have started to mummify.
PS, Google aerobic vs anaerobic bacteria and you will see what the problem is with a sealed casket where oxygen and proper venting is missing.
Daniel Reed, have you heard of periods or well-placed commas?
The real unnerving element to your diatribe was the references to Obama. WTF has that cretin got to do with the Funeral Industry? Perhaps it’s his over-enthusiastic regulation of it, just as he does with every other industry. The only damn thing Obama hasn’t performed overwatch to has been the very government which that self-proclaimed messiah stated would be transparent. I.e., IRS, NSA, Justice Department, the VA, EPA and the executive branch which has obfuscated EVERYTHING. One thing is for certain in his eventual death; there will be so much shit in that casket that it’ll grown an entire forest.
I should have checked up on this before my daughters burial. Now I have quilt upon guilt and can’t stop looking into this matter. I feel betrayed and really would like to see justice done. Why is it always about a buck even at the end of one’s life? It seems that the world revolves around nothing but greed. I am glad that I was brought up better!!!!!!